wow, so my wife left yesterday on this month's business trip. Every month now, she is traveling. This business trip I have the privileged to know that she will be seeing OM, I really don't want to be thinking about this, and have been trying to keep myself occupied. I know that I shouldn't compare myself, and I am trying to control cursing her out in my mind because I would love to walk away from this without any bitterness.
Last night my little one woke up multiple times throughout the night, so I am a bit tired. I know this probably doesn't help my feelings. I have been keeping up with my morning ritual, and have been practicing affirmations. I refuse to allow to continue to lower my self-respect. Reminding myself of my worth, the value I bring, the type of man that despite my past I am, and have become.
I know there is nothing more to this, than continuing to change my attitude, I have to remind myself that I am valuable, of my good qualities, and to change that negative self-talk that keeps us tied to our old stories and habits.
Hey brother, Im sorry you are going through that, I have been there with the exact same scenario. Try and get some rest whenever you can you need it and your kids need you to be well rested.
Don't let it get to you, don't try to compare yourself. Be yourself. You are a good person that is worthy of someone who will appreciate you for whom you are now!
Stay positive my friend, you've come so far, don't fall for temptation, show your faith with actions.
Have been feeling ok these past few days. Still not thrill that my wife is on a business trip and will be meeting OM, but working on redirecting those thoughts into something else or better yet someone else...myself. I have the boys, so that is always great, a bit stressful to get them ready and tend to them from time to time but love the company and love seeing them. FaceTime with her this morning, which makes me both feel good and bad, but I am glad she called the boys, last trip she didn't at all.
I remember a while back she stated that she was thankful to me for two things.
1. I gave her our boys 2. I helped her find her true self
This to me is insulting, but I don't say anything. I have done so much for her, and still do. Aside from that, this true self, doesn't manage money well, is in debt, one phone cut off, in collections, can't afford groceries at times, buys clothes instead of using that money to buy food for our kids, hasn't paid the utilities, sometimes forgets to call her kids, is self-involved and overly selfish. Is unappreciative. I mean, if this is who she is truly, then I am sorry...I don't want that.
Sorry, I just needed to get that down, and vent a bit. It is hurtful to love a person so much, and that person disregard your feelings so easily after so many years.
That aside. I have kept up with my goals.
Have continue my morning ritual, researching the business idea, and want to start purchasing products and setting it up soon. Have fought the urge to argue and snoop. I will put another post together with updates on goals.
God Bless you all.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
Have been feeling ok these past few days. Still not thrill that my wife is on a business trip and will be meeting OM, but working on redirecting those thoughts into something else or better yet someone else...myself. I have the boys, so that is always great, a bit stressful to get them ready and tend to them from time to time but love the company and love seeing them. FaceTime with her this morning, which makes me both feel good and bad, but I am glad she called the boys, last trip she didn't at all.
I remember a while back she stated that she was thankful to me for two things.
1. I gave her our boys 2. I helped her find her true self
This to me is insulting, but I don't say anything. I have done so much for her, and still do. Aside from that, this true self, doesn't manage money well, is in debt, one phone cut off, in collections, can't afford groceries at times, buys clothes instead of using that money to buy food for our kids, hasn't paid the utilities, sometimes forgets to call her kids, is self-involved and overly selfish. Is unappreciative. I mean, if this is who she is truly, then I am sorry...I don't want that.
Sorry, I just needed to get that down, and vent a bit. It is hurtful to love a person so much, and that person disregard your feelings so easily after so many years.
That aside. I have kept up with my goals.
Have continue my morning ritual, researching the business idea, and want to start purchasing products and setting it up soon. Have fought the urge to argue and snoop. I will put another post together with updates on goals.
God Bless you all.
I know exactly what you mean EMMess, my W was always the type of person that saved her $, was very cautious on spending, ever since OM came along she went in debt, in collections, spend $6k on this OM in a matter of 5 months, she has and continues to neglect my children, she has no idea how hurt they are, it is all selfish high school behavior, so I know exactly what you are going through.
Remain strong for yourself and your kids, walk proud that you are changing and becoming a better man all the way around.
I suggest to go completely dark, it is easier said than done, but that has worked for me.
Thank you ILYNOT. This is so true, and I am sorry you are dealing with that. I recently found out that she used the CC that I lent her for when she needed to visit MIL to purchase a new coat while out with co-workers. She didn't even bother telling me about it. States she didn't want to seem like she couldn't afford it, when it reality, she couldn't.
Sandi, the OM works for a local chamber of commerce that she does business with when traveling to that state, that's how they met. She has a few projects and events happening over there, so she has been flying out a lot. She recently told me she might spent her bday out there, which is hurtful, as I don't understand how you wouldn't want to spend it with love ones.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
This trip has definitely had an effect on me. The wondering what she is doing, if she is with him, etc. I just don't understand why I am so hung up on this. I am trying to get passed this. It is hard to GAL right now, while I am watching the kids, but I am noticing that this is all affecting me.
I have shorter patience, especially with my kids, I tend to scream at them, my oldest is also being affected by this, as he has expressed how he wants to go home, and doesn't want to come with me, he sometimes says things that hurt, and I express that he shouldn't say that, but I know he is a child and has no filter, it doesn't mean he means what he says, it just hurts at times, because I don't want this for them or myself.
I am again angry, it builds up in me. I don't lash out at my wife, and my kids, its mostly at myself and internal dialogue. I may need to join one of those classes where I beat on a pillow or something. Thinking I should join Karate again or take boxing.
I am going to re-read "NMMNG"; seems like I have a lot of maturing to do in this department. I need to some coping strategies to stop from thinking about her and what she is doing. Does anyone have any thoughts? I really need the help. I am tired of feeling this way.
God Bless
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
@ Sandi, she has never been gone longer than 4-7 days. She states that this is a friendship, but she likes him, and enjoys talking to him; that at least she waited until we were separated to entertained these types of conversation. I do believe she goes for business, but it still doesn't change the fact that she pencils him in during the trip.
She doesn't text or call to see how the kids are when she arrive, or to let us know she arrived safely, but I am sure that she texted him throughout the day, and we didn't hear from her till the following. I know I shouldn't do it, mind read.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
