Listen to the experts my friend. That's why they're experts. Don't wait. Confront. She's still your wife and seeing other people is absolutely unacceptable behavior.
Coach said not to confront as my only proof was gathered via snooping. If I confront I will have to admit that I snooped and face those consequences. She will go ahead and meet the OM anyways. I can not change her actions.
I can totally empathize. I couldn't sit on something like that myself. I'd be weak and confront. I'd try anything I could to stop the meeting from happening. Of course I'd probably be wrong and have been wrong so many times in my life. In my own horrible messes I've decided to surrender my pride and tendency to try and solve everything myself. I finally let go and listened to the counselors and marriage coaches. That has had very positive results. As much as it pains me to admit, I don't know everything and I can't fix everything. Swallowing my pride won't kill me.
I know if she is determined to make the meeting happen, it will. I may be able to delay the inevitable for awhile, but if this is the path she chooses, I can not stop her. I need to find a way to set my boundaries, knowing what I know.
