I am working at showing that I am ok. And will be whatever the outcome is. And, it was only one night, but I think I convinced myself of that somewhat. I still think she is beautiful and WAS one of the greatest people I have ever met. Starting to see some flaws now. Maybe the 'spell' is beginning to wear off. I'm still hoping and praying that we can work this out and be great again, but I'm being more realistic today. I'm still a good person and worthy of being loved. Having another good person to share my life with. Hope it is W, but that is her decision to make. I think I have finally started to let her go, and start moving forward. Taking care of my boys and myself, let her fall on her own. Maybe she will see what we had, maybe not. I'm not giving up, but hoping for the best and preparing for the worst
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Had a kids breakfast at the school. W was way overdressed to be going to work at a grain elevator afterwards. Wanted to tell her how nice she looked, but I bit my tongue. I had been making sure to compliment her more, but I think right now it is a bad idea. Don't know who she was dressing to impress, maybe me for becoming more distant and doing a temp check?
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
Had a kids breakfast at the school. W was way overdressed to be going to work at a grain elevator afterwards. Wanted to tell her how nice she looked, but I bit my tongue. I had been making sure to compliment her more, but I think right now it is a bad idea. Don't know who she was dressing to impress, maybe me for becoming more distant and doing a temp check?
Maybe.
Or maybe she's meeting the president?
Or maybe she hasnt done laundry in three weeks?
Or maybe they have dress-up Thursdays now?
Those are all kinda equally likely, dont you think?
I am working at showing that I am ok. And will be whatever the outcome is. And, it was only one night, but I think I convinced myself of that somewhat. I still think she is beautiful and WAS one of the greatest people I have ever met. Starting to see some flaws now. Maybe the 'spell' is beginning to wear off. I'm still hoping and praying that we can work this out and be great again, but I'm being more realistic today. I'm still a good person and worthy of being loved. Having another good person to share my life with. Hope it is W, but that is her decision to make. I think I have finally started to let her go, and start moving forward. Taking care of my boys and myself, let her fall on her own. Maybe she will see what we had, maybe not. I'm not giving up, but hoping for the best and preparing for the worst
This is what you gotta do. Proud of you man.
Me:29 W:27 M: 4 years T: 5 years No children S: 7/7/15 EA: 7/7/15 BD/"I'm done": 7/15/15 MC: 7/7/15-8/21/15 (failed) PA: 8/29/15 W Files for D: 9/9/15 D will finalize in 60 days
Rdken, I know that it is what I have to do, but it is the hardest thing that I have ever done. I is so awesome to have support. And I am getting it from places I would never have dreamed of. People at work, that I was really only acquainted with and never close, are texting me daily with words of encouragement. I am getting closer to my family. Something that I have never had. And the DB forum. You guys are all awesome.
Now, that being said, what else should I be doing? Whenever I get another reminder of what is happening, my mind goes into react mode. I am working in that, because getting an email from the lawyer changes nothing. Just like another slap in the face though.
Taking the boys camping Saturday with some of their friends. Have baseball tonight and tomorrow night. There is a small town festival thing up the road that we may go hit up. Nothing there but carnival games, junk food and junk... but for the boys it's big stuff!
Let me know where you see room for improvement please!
35 3 boys Not my circus, not my monkeys anymore....
