First Post, She just Left, Very unsure

[sandi2]

" He made me an offer I couldn't refuse".

[Shrike]

I told her that whether or not someone got commission for me signing up had nothing to do with why I didn't go to her. I just needed to get childcare.

[Shrike]

Hahaha I just saw the quote. That would have been perfect!

[Shrike]

So I kept pressuring her to tell me and finally she admitted to talking to another guy.
The same guy she'd been talking to since last year.

The same guy that told her he loved her.

She tried to say they just started talking.

She tried to say she's "respecting" our situation and will not move past this until we are divorced.

Excuse me. But [censored] her. So much relief with her saying something

It hurts like hell. But it also feels like I have some sort of direction.

[Shrike]

What are some of the things other people did to help get past this? When they finally hear the truth?

I'm having a really hard time dealing with it.

I was drunk when I posted the above and when I got the info out of her. And now all the feelings are rushing in.

No more drinking I know that.

[sandi2]

When are you going to learn that those moments of what you call "relief" are very temporary? Do not allow your emotions to lead.

I can almost assure you that she's not telling the complete truth. It does no good to pressure her.

Do you want her back b/c she feels sorry for you? What if she came back b/c she was scared of what you might do? Maybe if she was pressured enough, would that work for ya? Ask yourself if you want her back under any reason, other than she's in love with you?

Pressuring her certainly does not make you very attractive. Neither does being drunk. The board s filled with how others got past this same type situation, and many of the men tossed the bottle.

[Shrike]

I guess I'm a bad student.

I don't want her back unless she is in love with me.
Even then I'm not sure anymore. It hurt more than expected when she told me.

So I do nothing? Cut her out. Cut her off. Only pass the kid back and forth. Settle the house, settle the finances. And that's it? Heal myself, move forward and let life take me where it will.

[zew]

Heal myself, move forward and let life take me where it will.

No. Absolutely not.
Heal yourself, yes.
Move forward, yes. That's the direction you're going, remember?
But "let life take me where it will"? Huh? How about leading?
How about making life what you want it to be? Then maybe W will want to be with the happy guy with the great outlook.

[sandi2]

Everyone has to learn. Most of us learn from mistakes. Just don't continue making the same ones, expecting different results.

Time to get serious about yourself.

[Shrike]

I want to work on me. I'm serious about it. But it's almost like she's a drug I can't kick. I know I'm not the first or last person to go through this. But it's definitely hard to look past the pain and emotion when it comes out.