so it seems there has been a shift and it seems to be more than simply the swey of the pendulum...it seems this time it's a lasting shift..
I know that some of the shift has been a result of my looking at the positives and trying to stay focussed there instead of in the negative yuck of it all...some of the shift may simply have occured do to something unknown to me (implying something in h could be anything at all)
h is very present..
expressive..
talkative...
open..
fun..
friendly...
and a whole lot of other good stuff...
h seems more and more comfortable...beyond just the comfortable enough to burp and fart and fall asleep on the couch kinda stuff...he seems very comfortable being him around me...when he calls he's expressive (for a long time pre bomb h was one face all the time and it was stale)and sharing.
this is h's busy season...he's stressed but sharing that stress with me and giving me an oportunity to try to make him smile and look at the brighter side is helpful..silly that I started out thanking him for sharing his mysery with me to get to this point but hey after all..catch them doing right is what it's all about.
so things continue to go well round here...I'm sure there will still be days when I'm down and question it all but they are seeming less and less and further apart and actually I'm able to bounce back much easier.
this time last year..h was certain that he wanted a d..wasn't comming home...was in love with ow...claimed never to have had that feeling for me in the first place...etc etc...
now h is happier than he's been in a long time and always wants to be home..heck he'll even pass up an invitation to visit friends or family to just stay home and enjoy his own home with his own family.
why we had to go on this journey I do not know...I didn't like it...in fact I hated it....really messed with my mind and body...but in the long run I'm happy it happend..something had to change and I'm not sure that either of us would have made the changes if not for the drastic circumstances that forced us to do so.
focus on the positives! put a smile on your face and appreciate each day for what it has to offer.
Quote: It is one thing to feel unhappy because something in your world is genuinely bad, sad or regrettable. It is another to feel blue because you don't think you're entitled to feel any other way. I'm not trying to suggest that you are inflicting an unnecessary punishment on yourself but there is a part of you that half expects things to go wrong and thus almost 'welcomes' disappointment. This weekend, you need to conquer that fearful, pessimistic aspect of your personality. Reach for the brightest and the best - and you’ll get it.
ha! I think I like my horoscope for today!
Quote: We create, in our minds, a hundred new reasons to worry every day. If we care to look beyond our own private causes for concern, we soon discover that all our friends have problems and then there are all those disturbing stories in the news. It's human nature to make things seem difficult, complicated and bothersome. Happily though, we are born blessed with another capacity; the ability to enjoy life regardless of what's seemingly wrong. That's the skill you need to employ now to get the right perspective on your situation. Then you can start smiling.
and we'll just relate h's horoscope to mean his current stresses with work!
thanks all for stopping by, I think I've finally made it...I think I can put the past to rest and let the old r die...I like the new r...I like me...I like h...I think we're gonna be a-ok!!
Quote: I think I've finally made it...I think I can put the past to rest and let the old r die...I like the new r...I like me...I like h...I think we're gonna be a-ok!!
naaaa forget it...it's good...it's all good and will only continue to get better if I decide I want it to!
Yeah...yeah...I know... Thing is, you both feel differently now don't you? He's behaving differently, he's more present (hell, he's farting), and he's listening. Right?
LL I just found your thread a few days ago....and I am so, so very happy for you. YOur journey is so incredibly inspiring....especially for me right now. I feel as though I am in the early stages of this process and today on my way home from working at the hospital....I decided I was angry at H again....just because....he put us into this mess and I feel as though I'm doing 90% of the work through DB & DR steps. We did have some progress on our family vacation (and thanks for helping me with my posting). But, tonight...he called and left a message that he is hanging with "co-workers" for a beer and will be home 8:30 or so. He said he has some out of town people....I should believe him, but still go into the doubt phase in my head. Anyhow....I'm going to read and re-read your journey. I am soooooo impressed with your results. I really hope one day within a reasonable timeframe, I can feel the same you do today. I truly like the part about the changes that had to occur to bring you two back on track. I am finally admitting that we've had issues...that I put under the rug or didn't realize were really building for us. Maybe I have a higher tolerance for frustration in our relationship. Enough rambling. Thanks for your continued insights and keep on rockin!!!! Mooka
hurray!-lisa 
whose words helped brighten up my day today! Thanks to ...
