Hello all, well after a long night, I decided to ask the W to finally file for D, even though I have GAL, PMAing, 180s etc., I still feel as though the D paper is keeping me attached.
I called her and we talked about it she is still firm on never coming back, so I simply told her then you need to file and go through he process.
It all started from this weekends walk together, she mentioned she has new friends, activities, etc but she wouldn't go into details as she feels I'm not ready for that info yet and she doesn't feel the need o tell me certain things about her personal life... I said ok left it at that but couldn't sleep just wondering, I really need to get away and cut the rope, I have become a friend without benefits, I am only being used when she needs something, well I am DONE, time to move on.
Sometimes we need to get the physical divorce out the way, but the emotional one still goes one. Who knows sometimes this is what's needed to finally let go of the pass and begin something new, even with your W. I will be praying for the best.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
Do you feel any different after making this decision ILYNOT? Any shifts in you? Even from writing that out?
I'm curious.
Thanks!
PP
You know what, I feel as though a huge weight has been lifted, I said what I really needed to say and get out of my mind, heart and soul.
I was angry, sad, disappointed, etc. but my point got across and the conversation was good, she didn't have much to say.
Yesterday I cried like never before, I know the holy spirit was with me, turned the radio on after I got off work and a song I had just showed my W to listen to played, then a dusty car pulls in front of me as the song starts playing and it said JESUS right in front of a new church everyone has been telling me to go to, I started sobbing in joy.
I slept great last night, I woke up happy today.
Im not recommending anyone to do what I did which is ask for the D. But ive been going through this for a little over a year now and things have been good, bad, there is no trust even as "friends" To me it was time to move on, too many signs to ignore.
Maybe in the future, if it is GODs will.
I am still going to stick around because I think now the rocky road is coming with the legal crap!
No problem PigPen, trust me it was a very hard choice to make, I hadn't slept and just figured;
I deserve better I deserve to be treated with respect and honesty I deserve to be loved and appreciated I deserve to be happy with someone who truly values me and she was not doing any of that..
Took me this to realize, do not become WAS friend, WAS will use you, hurt you.
I feel like that, the crumbs they throw your way, the mix signals, if we don't stay focus we end up right back in the beginning.
You have done amazing changes and great things. Continue them and whenever that other person comes along, you already know the work needed to make that successful.
God Bless, I am glad to see that you are at a please of peace.
M: 34 W: 33 S: 7 S: 14 months BD: 6/2015 Separation: 6/2015 Back and Forth between Home and Moms
I deserve better I deserve to be treated with respect and honesty I deserve to be loved and appreciated I deserve to be happy with someone who truly values me
So, if Im reading this correctly, for you, you need to be divorced to start seeing other women. Otherwise, Im not sure how "being divorced" changes any of these things. I guess I understand if you need that legal paper telling you that you are "free" to make that next step.
I am proud that you can realize these things, and understand that you need them.
