Hello all, D4's birthday party was a giant success. It was great to see d4 have so much fun with her friends. D4 was so surprised when I walked out in my Prince Charming costume. Things went smoothly with XW throughout the party.
In the afternoon, XW calls me from the beach to tell me that she is sad because she misses our family. I asked if she wanted to talk about it. She said yes. XW saw some families together at the beach and she said she is afraid she will never have that again. XW then states that she knows I will have that again in a second. I respond by saying that it takes a while to find happiness. I admit that I miss our family too especially on days like today. We talk for a few more minutes and then I wish her a good day.
I still don't know if I'm divorced LOL. I checked the court website and it shows it as pending. I just keep on keeping on. I feel that I am getting better at viewing XW as a closed chapter but conversations like today still impact me emotionally.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Great job on the party Defacto, especially in light of your sitch.
I've come to the conclusion that all relationships are just weird, and divorces are no different. It sounds like your W definitely misses your family, as do you. Yet she calls you, the person she left to talk about it. There's something to that.
Had lunch with a friend who's been divorced for six years, and he said that his wife called him at 2am the week before to say she had anxiety. He asked why she wasn't calling her bf (the guy she left him for) and she said she'd rather talk to him! Crazy making.
Such is life. All you can do is what you're doing, moving forward. Your XW may call you and tell the you the same thing long after the D is final. It's hard to feel the "half pull", the "I miss our family buuuut, I'm still not stopping the D". I had the same thing with my STBXW asking me to dinner the other night. All you can do is try to shake it off and chalk it up as part of the process.
PP
M 39 W 36 T5 M3 BD - 1/15 Separated - Same Day Served 9/15 D finalized 6/17
PP, Great insight, as usual. There will always be nuances in my dealings with XW. I just need to keep doing my thang and not worry about her one bit. Whether I'm D or not D doesn't really change anything until I'm ready to begin dating again anyway.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Hey all, I know it's been a few weeks so I just wanted to say hello. I'm doing fantastic! Don't think XW has finalized D yet but I will no longer live in limbo and uncertainty. I have moved on and it feels great!
On a funny side note, XW called me in a huff last night, asking for details about my meeting with OM's W from over six months ago. XW wanted to know if OM's W mentioned if there were other mistresses. Hilarious!
Anyway, I hope everybody is well. I will make a concerted effort to drop by more often.
Me:35 W:30 D:4 S:1 Bomb: 01/08/15, discovered EA & PA In House Separation: 01/14/15 W moves out: 04/05/15 I tell OM's W about A: 04/15/15 W serves D papers: 06/19/15 Mediation: 09/16/15 D final: 12/01/15
Was thinking of you yesterday during my practice time. I am trying to learn the new X ambassadors tune, Renegade. Really awesome sound on the acoustic guitar. I hadn't seen anything from you so I am glad you posted.
Hi Defacto, I'm pleased to hear from you and glad you are doing so well. Hmm, so your XW doesn't believe OM was exclusive with her....there's a surprise...
Anyway - good for you with the PMA and have a great weekend xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
You sound great. Happy for you. It seems like you have a healthy R with your W right now. You are thriving on your own and you have freed her to deal with her own issues (whatever those may be!!).
