I thought it would take me a long time to get to 100 posts. Nope! This forum has helped me in so many ways. Mainly I am starting to see that I let a lot of things slide and enabled his passive aggressive behavior for a long time. No more! I am ready to stand up for myself and to not take his passive chit anymore.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
Journaling - I am finding it a little easier to get my mind off of things during the day. I read Uphill's post a bit ago and it really resonated with me. I truly wonder if STBXH is having the same fears/thoughts as me. I know I can't do anything about it, trying to detach, but really am just curious. He is very stubborn and passive aggressive so it makes me wonder if he would ever admit that he made a mistake.
I hope since standing up for what I want (first time since BD) the other night it will start to make him think that things are not probably not going to go the way he fantasized them going. I really, truly think that he thought I would do whatever he wanted for the divorce to make it easier on him.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
ep0215 glad your letting things slide, that means progress for YOU! They can be very stubborn and you just have to let them fail, which may take a while but they will and hope they eventually realized what harm they have caused along the way. Keep praying!
Thanks PP and ILYNOT - I am really proud of my 'new' self. The 'old' me would not have been able to validate in the moment and would have been defensive or just clammed up completely and given in to his wants just so as not to start a fight or make him unhappy because he might decide to divorce me.
I even told him that a few months ago during one of our talks that I am part to blame for the failures in our marriage. For over a year I was afraid to admit any negative feeling I had because he might decide to leave because things weren't "easy" but you decided to leave me anyway so that did't work out. At least I am admitting my faults and am willing to do whatever it takes for each other. A perfect relationship isn't actually perfect at all, it consists of two people who never give up on each other despite the hurt or pain. It is really sad that our spouses are blind to that fact.
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
"At least I am admitting my faults and am willing to do whatever it takes for each other. A perfect relationship isn't actually perfect at all, it consists of two people who never give up on each other despite the hurt or pain. It is really sad that our spouses are blind to that fact."
Well said EP, exactly how I feel
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
I am pretty excited about tonight. It is the first time I have felt really okay with being home by myself since he moved out. I have been GAL and keep busy on the days I do not have my son.
I went to the store and bought a nice bottle of wine and I am going to cook myself a gourmet meal, just for me! I love to cook and haven't really 'cooked' since he left. I just hope I don't burn it. I am making Bonefish's Saucy Rock Shrimp from scratch!
YUMMY
Me:33 H:36 T:13 years M:10 years S4 Separated 05/15 H Filed 06/15
