Hi just wanted to say I struggle so so much with letting to. I find it hurts all over. I am trying to "go dark" bk I just found out my H is getting a Match.com woman lined up for the coming weekend. he's been looking and finally found someone. I am just sick with agony. She's 11 years younger, blond etc. It makes me feel old and unattractive. My H and I are 57 years old. I really need to do something to help myself emotionally. I am trying so hard . I ran a 14 K race with my friend today. But I come home and I just feel destroyed. .. and I have this strange experience of remembering really vividly everything I like about him.. even tho we had so many difficulties and even tho he is having so much trouble in his life. He has gotten suspended at work for flirting iwth the secretary, he has had bad fights with 3 of his closest siblings -- and his anger was a big issue in our relationship.. and he has been irresponsible and unreliable with our money and still is slow to pay me what he owes me. Everyone i my life INCLUDING my therapist is telling me to let him go.. and I keep thinking of things I love abou thim and missing him-- I feel like a crazy person. EVen I can see that it doesn't make sense but that's how it feels. HELP!! Any good suggestions to getting past this into a better more sane space??
Thank you for dropping by Ghost. You know you are right. This afternoon, I received an email saying that there are things that he did not like about the draft letter, couldn't possibly get the paperwork in the time frame stated and I just thought, Oh, you didn't read the letter probably, it make me feel better to know it irked him a little. Didn't even bother replying by my name or signing off to his.
I know not still fully detached thinking about his reaction again. However, I just replied saying I appreciate it would be hard to get the info but the time frame given was just to respond. I felt I was pleasant and businesslike without any animosity etc. and I did sign off
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
LMS, I would be lying if I said I was fully detached. I still feel sad and lonely knowing he has someone every day to text and just say the little things when I don't.
Like you despite people telling me to let him go, I am the better person etc, I still see his positives. Don't be hard on yourself dear LMS.
I just spoke to DS and it took a lot to not respond when he said Dad said you will buy me ...... as a JOINT Christmas present. One day, I spent months in anxiety and pain thinking about what he was doing.
It does get easier, but it doesn't feel like that today, it will in time.
Take care and big hugs!
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
My life has changed quite a lot in the last seven weeks in terms of just being me.
STBX has emailed with some petty finance issues such as me not paying the bills whilst I was at the house in the 7 weeks of the summer holidays, said his food bills goes up when DS is at home and I should contribute to that too. Felt very disappointed at this email. Opened my eyes to how mean spirited he has become.
I can see myself moving forward without him more and more.
However, can not help but think of the reasons why he is trying to rile me in this way.
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
I too haven't posted for a while. I'm hanging around as there has been a development on Huddy's thread which unfortunately isn't looking good for him.
My WW is also on at me about bills, but in the other direction (i.e. she's paying for things while not living there, she could have sorted this out months ago but meh, she chose not to).
Why waste your energy on wondering about his reasons? Just give him the money and be done with it. I'm sure he'll be very pleased with himself for 'winning' his pathetic little argument.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
hey, the old gang. i haven't been around either - oh no what is up with Huddy - better go see -
hey Smoth - i agree with NDY 100% - shrug it off - i think you are at a point where you can appreciate that he has to live with being an arse for the rest of his life. you on the other hand CAN just shrug it off.
not that I WANT him or my W to "live" with it for the rest of their lives, I wish them happiness. i wish the same for me and you and NDY, and Huddy etc, but their happiness, or lack of, or whining, or medicating, or whatever - aint gonna stop me from enjoying my life.
now i just gotta get through this custody battle that is draining me. hey---get this- you guys will love this one. according to her sworn affidavit, we seperate in June2014 and lived under the same roof until Jan2015. WTF!! but hey - someone is sponsoring Mr Ukraine as a defect partner - the definition of which is a committed relationship to the exclusion of all others. couldn't very well be married then. f**in idiot! load of falsehoods and mistakes in her testimony. unfortunately, family court doesn't care about surgery like the supreme court would.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
Smoothy, he's got to be joking? His food bill has gone up? Does you SD eat mountains of food? What a norbert! You're sounding more detached, which is good. As the boys say, let him have his money, if that's all that matters to him.
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
re: The reasons he riles you this way as opposed to intends to rile you this way.
you're riled - you have to get over this.
why he is whinging - my W does same. "whats your problem - you got everything you want, you are happy no - so get over it". this what I mean about you being free once you get over the hill. you were screwed - you dealt with it - you move on.
not so straight forward for our WASs - they have to reconcile with themselves that they did the screwing. like a loved one is sick and in pain and distressed. then they die. they are free. but the living still have to deal with it. we died, moved on, but they are left to live with it.
this is also just pathetic regression to deal with it in the same way he had learnt to deal with these things before. he hasn't caught up with the game. you're over buddy, those tactics are just so lame, it doesn't deserve a response beyond passing the money to him, and not thinking about it for another second.
M: 6 T: 12 Kids: 2,4 BD: Jan 2015 S: Feb 2015 EA/PA confirmed: Feb2015/Mar2015
I have emailed him to ask him what amount it is per month and I will transfer the money. It is so pathetic.
So sorry, Pyrite, Huddy, NDY, we are a still dealing with their [censored]. :-(
I am trying to be the better person here. Friends have told me not to be so reasonable and let him 'have it' ie my anger.
I don't think he is worth it any more. Ironically, solicitors says I can claim support as he earns considerably more than I do.
Just come back from a trip. I have started my travelling and have booked another short trip in November. I am enjoying this life, so why do I still miss him?
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
