So my friends its been a long journey for me and my struggles and as I listened to the vets on here back in 2011 (not always but I tried) life did get better for me as I continued with my C and became a man only a fool would leave.. All the while watching the XW falter at each step. So after I became re-engaged with my children and its better than ever, I also met and married another wonderful woman, going on one year.. So this post is about XW and how her OM was the bomb and after all this time they are no longer. I do have a pretty good relationship with XW now, and she has told me what a mistake she has made putting all of her eggs in one basket (OM) So as the vets will tell all the new posters on here LBS's that it does get much better and you can move on and be a better person for yourself and if your lucky a new person in your life. I watched in the shadows and my xw's world shattered. It was not a very nice picture for sure..... She has admitted to me that she now understands her role in our demise and that I was not totally to blame. So even though I did not get back with her, my journey was hard and I was focused, I realized with the help of this board, my c and medication that there was a path to becoming a better version of myself.It can be done and each of you newcomers should listen and post often as to get a grip on what life has to offer you. Everyone on here keeps saying that you can only change your self and no one else. And when you do change make them stick, if you can truly look inside and tell yourself that this old version of me will never come back, I promise you will be rewarded in your life.. As all of us will backslide on occasion, ( I know I did alot)push through it and take notice not to do it again... Just felt like posting this today. I don't post often anymore, but I am on here reading everyday, its like a hard reminder and therapy all in one when I read about other LBS's.
Thanks man, I definitely needed that. Congrats on finding some peace and love.
M 16y , T 18y , 3 Kids 7/14 ILYBINILWY 8/14 Takes off rings 5/15 OM, S PA 8/15 10/15 A new hope. Rumbles of Reconciliation. 11/15 I can have what I want. What do I want?
Welcome back OLW My story is not too different from yours, my ex BD'd me a little over 3 years ago and went "all in" with her OM. That lasted about 2 years (I'm not really sure exactly how long because I quit asking about it) before it finally fizzled. She has just recently started dating again. I really can't tell if she's emerged from the fog, our relationship can best be described as the "friendly neighbor" sort. I'm not remarried but I am in a serious dating relationship. It's all changed me so much, not necessarily better but just different. Not so serious about life, enjoying day-to-day stuff more. BD just about killed me. Well, really it did kill the old me and a different me emerged. I think that's how we survive and eventually thrive, we cast off the old "us" and create something new.
I don't think I could have said it any better. Having the BD was the worst pain I think anyone could feel. And yes old me dead new me happy. Take care AS
OLW good hearing from you my good friend. I have been looking for u on the alt but u vanished from there also. I also remarried been 3 months. I love being a husband maybe Im old fashioned. But I love it. Keep us updated
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
My story is not too different from yours, my ex BD'd me a little over 3 years ago and went "all in" with her OM. That lasted about 2 years (I'm not really sure exactly how long because I quit asking about it) before it finally fizzled. She has just recently started dating again. I really can't tell if she's emerged from the fog, our relationship can best be described as the "friendly neighbor" sort. I'm not remarried but I am in a serious dating relationship. It's all changed me so much, not necessarily better but just different. Not so serious about life, enjoying day-to-day stuff more. BD just about killed me. Well, really it did kill the old me and a different me emerged. I think that's how we survive and eventually thrive, we cast off the old "us" and create something new.