Hello, I'm really new here but I have ordered both divorce busting and recovery books and cannot wait to start reading. my question which do I start reading first? thank you I will be in touch soon with my story. thanks all I've enjoyed reading here immensely.
Married 1991 D 32 GD 12 D 30 GD 3 S 29 M 58 S 57 1st bomb 2008 2nd bomb 4/2015 same person New bomb 09/24 I fear those big words which make us so unhappy.
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
In april confronted h about ow. He opened up and said he hasnt been happy for awhile. We have lots of stress in our fam sit work etc, I too in hind site have not been happy but didnt want a seperation or divorce but wanted things to be different as well.
We never fight becausec we dont talk. Another realization. We lived 3 months talking about everything and had great sex in that time great conversations and the stress was reduced between us. It got to the point that I was saying he needed to leave in order to figure some things out. I want him home but I want more from our relationship than he is willing to give. He is seeing ow on occassions and talks or txts maybe daily? Hes been out of house 2 1/2 weeks and ive seen him more than she has thank god.. and we are still having great sex.
This is where im confused because im not sure if I should continue this behavior. There was not enough sex and intimacy prior to the bomb but I wanted to do things differently than before. I am trying to give space between us this week as im reading that maybe thats what I should be doing rather than persuing and being available. Its been hard but ive been 3.5 days no contact. I cant wait to get the 2 books db and dr that are on the way. I am reading many success stories and pray we may be able to get back on track.
Thank you everyone for sharing.
Last edited by Cadet; 07/24/1503:24 AM. Reason: Carriage returns for readability
Married 1991 D 32 GD 12 D 30 GD 3 S 29 M 58 S 57 1st bomb 2008 2nd bomb 4/2015 same person New bomb 09/24 I fear those big words which make us so unhappy.
Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
Going for dinner with d2 her so and h .. not going to mention r .. just have fun.. gonna look hot.. haha if he makes an advance is it ok to accept at this point?
Married 1991 D 32 GD 12 D 30 GD 3 S 29 M 58 S 57 1st bomb 2008 2nd bomb 4/2015 same person New bomb 09/24 I fear those big words which make us so unhappy.
Hello anyone have any advice for me ? time is coming soon for me to join my family and unsure what I should do .. trying to stay calm cool and collected I also am not sure what validating means if I should be using that when speaking to H? UGGHH why does this have to be so darn hard.. I feel like I second guess everything I say ..Help
Married 1991 D 32 GD 12 D 30 GD 3 S 29 M 58 S 57 1st bomb 2008 2nd bomb 4/2015 same person New bomb 09/24 I fear those big words which make us so unhappy.
It is a tough answer because if he is having sex with the OW and with you then your sleeping with everyone the OW has slept with. Your health is at risk.
It is a tough answer because if he is having sex with the OW and with you then your sleeping with everyone the OW has slept with. Your health is at risk.
Is that OK?
Are you ok with sleeping with someone that is sleeping with someone else. Sorry to say you won't win in a sex-off with an OW.
Well no its not ok if I had my choice.. however ive been sharing him with ow for a while now so I figure whats the difference. My other thought is that I had not been willing to much in the padt one of the issues so im trying to do differently now.. I know he hasnt seen hercin 3 months but that will probably change at some point if their schedules allow. Im confused to say the least.. he may not even ask and then id be hurt. Im putting the cart before the horse at this point. Thank you for your replies.
Married 1991 D 32 GD 12 D 30 GD 3 S 29 M 58 S 57 1st bomb 2008 2nd bomb 4/2015 same person New bomb 09/24 I fear those big words which make us so unhappy.
