Wonka, Cali I hear ya. Patience and the long road. I just hate to sell something that we both love. I have told her it is just a house and we can get another one. I suggested moving closer to her work so her drive was shorter (mine would be longer, but it only takes me 10 mins to get there now). I just wanted to prevent any unnecessary moving/work/inconveniences but I see what your saying. All this ... its R talk ya know?? No R talks PT you are a far cry away from this just yet.
She asked me yesterday before she left if I wanted to go to dinner on thursday. So hopefully she will open up more, I know that was big for her yesterday. Don't worry I will not pursue
This part ... you HAVE to go into this with NO EXPECTATIONS. PT you will have to get your PMA Game face on, have a nice pleasant dinner, NO R TALKS, and make sure you end it on your terms, have somewhere to be .... this not only helps you NOT pursue ... but gets her to lean more YOUR direction. I know it sounds and feels like a game ... least it did for me... but I am telling you something as simple as ending the convo first, leaving first, pays off HUGE in the long game of all this. One of those little things that means the world.
Ugggg I know cali, I just need to STFU. Sometimes I just keep talking...
No R talk unless she brings it up right? I haven't heard from her today and my mind automatically is going to the negative. Is she changing her mind, did she regret opening up to me...
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
So my wife TM this morning Hi. It was nice because she hasn't done that in a month. I have just been giving her her space since Sunday. She asked how I was doing and I remained positive. We joked a little, which was nice. It made me smile, it was nice to know she was thinking of me. I don't text or call her, I let her do that. I will stick to sandi's rules, I hope I don't screw this up
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
Good job, PT, with being light and breezy with your TM exchange with W. With Ms. Wonka, it took a long, long time for the glacier to melt and for her walls to come down. I didn't hear from her for 4 SOLID months. Boy that was hard!!!
Yeah, stick to Sandi's Rules and you'll be fine.
You need to know that sometimes it's two steps forward and then 6 steps backward. Heck, I screwed things up in my DBing with Ms. Wonka. The goal was to keep those mistakes to a "minimum"...at best.
Thanks wonka. I hope that this is the start of her walls coming down.
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
So great news everyone! My wife called me and said we should take the house off the market. I asked her y and she said she wasn't ready for our marriage to be over:)!!!!!!! She wanted to start over with a clean slate. I am so happy. Obviously we have things we need to talk about but we will get through that. More to come.....
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
This is good to hear. Slow and steady. Don't let W in too easy. There's a lot of work to do ahead and don't sweep things under the rug. You would want to see a solutions-based MC counselor...preferably one with Gottman principles.
Also I've heard great things about Retrouaville. You guys might want to check it out as it focuses mainly on communication techniques. Not sure if they will accept gay couples as it's a Catholic organization.
Wonka I hear ya. She wants to start a clean slate. I want to talk about the "friend" she swears was only a friend. I want to do this now, but I dont want to ruin anything. I just want to talk about it now and never have to think about it again. This is one of the biggest things that makes me feel insecure other than the fact she just quit on our marriage. I was going to tell her was going to take me a little time to feel safe and secure again after having the rug pulled out. Everything else has been taken care of on my part (wearing ring and introduce as my wife) which were her biggest complaints. We already talked about how communication is a big priority for us.
M: 32 W: 35 M 2 1/2 T 4 1/2 same sex couple W "unhappy" April 2015 D first asked for mid May 2015 2nd D end of June 2015 D papers in hand, just have to sign Start of piecing 8/20/15 A confirmed 1/2/15
