XW's fog lifting, wants to work on fixing us

[Starsky309]

Maybe you could just date each other, staying separate?

[gogofo]

Maybe you could just date each other, staying separate?

I am pretty sure that is where we will start. We have no rush to move in together etc. That was one of the pressures we had before that was creating issues.

We wanted to sell our home we lived in together, but she kept kicking me out of her place. I would here "Uhh!! we need to get rid of the house." and then two weeks later I would be told I needed to move out of her place.

[WhyUs]

I spoke to my attorney today and asked him how often he has seen couples stop the divorce. He told me it happens more than you think. He also told me he recently had a case that took a year and went all the way to trial. He said 2 months later they were remarried. He was completely baffled.

So I would say you can do it. For sure get help to make sure you do not wind up back here again for unresolved issues.

Good luck

[kippz]

Gogofo,

I just read your whole sitch. I am rooting for you and your marriage. It is inspiring and I have a lot of hope for you and your family.

I agree, take baby steps. My H and I are doing the same. Some days I question taking him back, but I'm not giving up. Stay the course.

[gogofo]

The XW and I talked more last night. We started out without R talks, but transitioned to it. We both brought up issues and surprisingly she owned up to things she never did before.

Things like not communicating what she wanted/needed. Treating me unfairly when I didn't know, or when I did things that showed I knew.

We talked a little about where we go from here. She had ordered three couples' relationship workbooks for us to work on and work through.

It seems she is finally cognizant that she also failed our relationship, not just me, and she knows it needs to change.

I feel different this time. I don't feel the anxiety and panic I felt all the time while S but still M. There is no feeling of being scared to ruin everything. I brought up things last night that I was scared to talk about when M. Basically I feel healthier and stronger. I don't need her or the M to feel this way; before I was very co-dependent on her and the M to even feel normal.

Thanks for the well wishes and words of encouragement everyone.

[Zephyr]

Crooked path is still a path right. I am glad that you feel good about this. I really am!!!!!

[OneLessWife]

Any updates gogofo ?

[dmbfan]

I'm so happy to read a thread where it seems to be turning around

[gogofo]

On the 23rd I stayed the night and on the 24th we spent the evening together and I stayed until her mom was about to get home and then left. No one knows we may be working on our R again.

Had a week long vacation last week with the boys. Went and visited family and it was tons of fun. XW was abroad at a friend's wedding.

She sent me some pictures and snapchats on my phone. A couple good night messages. One night she was with her family reminiscing about our wedding and she told me that she couldn't tell them about our D. They still think we are married.

I picked her up from the airport on the way home and dropped her off at her car. We spent the latter part of last night telling each other about our trips and sharing our photos with each other.

We talked about possibly going away to a concert in a couple of weeks.

I took a book that she had bought about a couple that got remarried after D. I am about 3/5 through it. I assume we will talk about it once finished.

I asked her to dinner at my house on Thursday. She did not respond to my text. Found out I still get butterflies and wonder why she hasn't sent a message back.

I am trying to hold my horses and not overwhelm her this time. I love hard and am trying to not to be smothering. I will continue to read the book tonight. I am also having dinner with a friend tonight so that will be good. I am also trying to decide if I want to go camping with the boys this weekend.

I am thinking this time I am going to be straight forward with my feelings and let them out there more freely. This is a step I need to take. If it makes me feel uncomfortable I should probably do it.

[rdken]

Any updates gogofo?