You don't need to explain to us how you feel seeing that picture. We've all been there.
Yep. You're running a marathon, so go ahead and throw up and then move on.
You can do this, Prowl. It's okay to have emotions (God gave them to us after all!) . . . just don't be totally GOVERNED by them. Not at this difficult time. Have a plan, and execute the plan as best you can. If you have to have a good cry (or even a good puke, lol) then have it, but then get up and move on.
Prowl, I am still following along here. There are times I feel it is best for me to stand in the back and let those who have that shared experience lend comforting words. So it goes with other problems experienced, the people who "know" exactly what we are feeling are the ones we know can relate, and their comfort is cherished a great deal. I hope you saw how many people supported you through your darkest moments, and someone will always be around on the board. You are not alone.
It is always shocking to discover how low, selfish, thoughtless and hateful a wayward can become. After the LBS does the deep soul searching, they often see themselves as the bad guy. I am here to tell you that you are not a bad guy. Your W has lost her mind, in a sense of speaking, and each time she does some out of character behavior, it hits a very raw nerve. I think you will reach a place you may grieve for the girl she use to be and who loved you. But what I started out to say is that she is the one with this problem and sadly, nobody can help her until she's ready for it. In the meantime, please don't take the fall for what she has done and continues to do in the weeks or months to come.
((hugs)))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
At what point do you just give up and realize maybe I really wasn't making her happy. She told me today about mutual friends that thought I didn't treat her very well and talked down to her. I called up these friends and they said that Yes they felt I could have treated her better and that I did speak down to her.
I know I did have a problem with this the last few years. And I could make up excuses but I'm not going to. Ultimately it was my decision on how I treated her.
She has guys that she's dating that treat her very good. Of coarse who doesn't when you first start dating and you don't have to deal with the pressures of kids and finances. Maybe she is better off without me and maybe I would be better of with someone else. I don't want a divorce but I just don't see any thing fixing our broken past.
BD Oct 2014 S Dec 2014 D filed Feb 20, 2015 D on hold as money ran out for attorneys and the marital home's future is up in the air
Your children are in the mix and at the moment you are the more stable parent. Those children are the most important in all this. Children come first.
I would like you to consider how you feel about these precious little ones and how you can stand for your children. WW isn't earning, please concentrate on you so that you can fight for these children.
V
Last edited by Vanilla; 07/15/1512:11 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
"She told me today about mutual friends that thought I didn't treat her very well and talked down to her. I called up these friends and they said that Yes they felt I could have treated her better and that I did speak down to her."
And so what have you done about this?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Finding out who the OM is has been worse than I could have imagined. It use to be a faceless man now he ha a face and everytime I close my eyes I see the pictures of them together. My imagination sees them being intimate. He has some of the things I wanted and could never do because I was busy working two jobs to take care of my family. He had a college degree and he has a great paying job. She's going to divorce me, leaving me broke with paying child support for 5 children and they'll walk into the sunset, with a nice home and financial security. Something I worked so hard to provide for my family.
It's so easy now to see how she can say ILYBINILWY. She's getting those butterflies and endorphins from him now. Of coarse she doesn't feel any love for me. This is honestly the most painful experience of my life. I feel like my life was a complete waste.
BD Oct 2014 S Dec 2014 D filed Feb 20, 2015 D on hold as money ran out for attorneys and the marital home's future is up in the air
