Happy 4th everyone. Took some steps back this morning, I may be overthinking but the way she left there has got to be a ea or pa,everyone close to her says no as did she but to leave your "love" on such easy issues to workout baffles me
This is s cheeseless tunnel, AJ. You can turn yourself into a pretzel trying to analyze the unknowable. Instead of wasting your energy on that, focus on you. What did you do to take care of yourself today?
Hi Matt, yeh I guess I just got angry this morning , got over it . Spent some time at my parents got home and just wanted to be myself today , invited to some 4th events but don't know just wanted to be alone today .
Last edited by Aj8; 07/05/1503:27 AM.
Me:35 W:30 7 years together 11 months married No children W Left me-moved to her moms: June 2015 W filed for D: July 2015
Nothing is 'normal'. You will not feel normal on most days, for a while
It will take time and all you can do is focus on yourself.
Give us a list of things you are going to do to Get a Life (GAL) Starting with the next time you are invited to an event: you are going to go. And look really good with maybe a new shirt or something California-style.
Well for starters got a haircut , new look . Meeting friends for drinks this week , hoping to start going to the gym again this week. I'm taking it day by day , I've done a full detach and I guess it's not working as she's detached too and no communication, just got to see this through !
Me:35 W:30 7 years together 11 months married No children W Left me-moved to her moms: June 2015 W filed for D: July 2015
Remember, getting a life activities are not to get her attention. They are to get YOUR life back on track and to stop you from obsessing over your wife leaving. Right now you are acting like you are a footnote in your wife's story. STOP IT. You are the main character in your own story. Start acting like it.
Many of us have been there. The aching pain in the gut, the tears, etc.
Become someone you've always wanted to be. Practice Resurrection.
The more you become this person, the less you will worry and obsess over every email, text or communication you have with your wife.
AJ - none of this is normal. But in looking at your particular situation and comparing it with others, no, I wouldn't not say 3 weeks of cold communication from a WAW is abnormal. Think about it this way...she's been hurting in your relationship some for several years - now you're upset for 3 weeks. So, no, she isn't going to feel ready to warn up to you at this point.
As for detaching - remember that no contact and stopping pursuit is not the same as detaching. Detachment comes from an emotional separation of your feelings from hers. It's a goal...heck, it's practically THE goal. And it will take time. A LOT of time. Read read read the welcome threads on it.
Thanks guys, believe me I'm trying hard . Matt I wouldn't say it's been years she's held these feelings , more like a month or so based off what she told me when she left. --I mean we were just married 11 months ago if it was years she would've cancelled the wedding. Which is why I'm in shock ...
Me:35 W:30 7 years together 11 months married No children W Left me-moved to her moms: June 2015 W filed for D: July 2015
You may be right, but it sure seems unlikely. I know that my relationship went through a lot of "wait until xyz happens, that should make everything better." Maybe your W thought once were married, things will improve? Who really knows. But judging from what I've seen on here and read, these kinds of situations don't develop overnight - they are based on long term patterns of behavior.
