I have a question my H I believe doesn't wear his wedding ring but when he comes over I will notice that its not on and if I go out of room etc when I come back it's on. My question is why does he bother to put it on if only for me. In the past I have asked where his wedding g ring was if I noticed he didn't have it on and he said it was too big. He has lost weight and ring does slide right off his finger but has has made a show of putting it back o. And saying he took it off for work because it falls off. I quit asking or mentionin it the Las couple of times that I noticed he wasn't wearing it only to find when I came back in room it would mysteriously be on.
My positive spin on this is at least he cares enough of what I think to put it on but I also think he is represent himself as unmarried outside of this. Any thoughts.
I have a question my H I believe doesn't wear his wedding ring but when he comes over I will notice that its not on and if I go out of room etc when I come back it's on. My question is why does he bother to put it on if only for me. In the past I have asked where his wedding g ring was if I noticed he didn't have it on and he said it was too big. He has lost weight and ring does slide right off his finger but has has made a show of putting it back o. And saying he took it off for work because it falls off. I quit asking or mentionin it the Las couple of times that I noticed he wasn't wearing it only to find when I came back in room it would mysteriously be on. My positive spin on this is at least he cares enough of what I think to put it on but I also think he is represent himself as unmarried outside of this. Any thoughts.
Maybe...but it's a question you already asked and already decided, did not matter. Try to catch yourself when you get repetitive or go backwards on your path.
Plus it's another question that has no definitive answer...and therefore, it isn't a question you should spend a ton of energy wondering.
Besides, what answer would be a "good" one for you? That he cares enough to fake wear it around you? Okay...but
In time, you could spin that as him being dishonest...so you could morph it into a negative.
OR you could say his fake wearing is actually insulting your intelligence b/c you obviously notice it...
OR you could decide he's doing it intentionally, just to confuse/torture you since he knows you stare at his ring finger a lot...b/c you have frequently commented on it in the past...
OR you could not care a whit about IF or WHY he's wearing or not wearing a piece of jewelry that actually is too big for him
AND you could GAL and DETACH
and then you'd bring a whole lot more to the table than an obsessive woman who is constantly asking herself (or her h) R questions with no "good" answers.
Life is short skydive. Really truly short and our days our limited, with tomorrow promised to no one. What do you think you should be pondering now? What do You think you could do for yourself that would improve your situation? Why not focus on that, and only that?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Well pit 25 years I am not sure what to ponder. Maybe nothing. Maybe can I be married to a chronic liar. Maybe has H always been a chronic liar. I know he has lied in the past thru out our M. Maybe I GAL and ponder what do I really need in my life because I agree life is short and I want to be happy and not always looking over my shoulder wondering what's the truth and what's a lie.
I've been reading up on your sitch. Take 25yrs advice...let it go about the ring. My husband took his off a week after he proclaimed our separation(although not legally). It ticked me off, it hurt my feelings but I haven't said one word about about it since an I don't ponder his stupidity. I don't have the energy to waste and neither do you.
I'm learning that men having a mlc are crazy. Don't waste your time trying to figure him out. I'm three weeks into this mess and I'm learning to just focus on today and try my best. Some days I'm a strong success and others I fail miserably. It's a process and it's all about patience, which is hard for me because I like to fix things quick.LOL
Thanks so much. You sound like you are doing pretty good better then me I wishy wash all over. Thanks it's what I needed to hear I will hang in there for 90 days ha e it makes and will see if there us any change its been since November for me and Feb when he left
There is a pattern that by 6 or 6:30 he leaves or has my S home. It's like a magic time. He says that I should know and trust him that there would never be anyone else yet he is never around after 6 he goes to rental home only twice recently has been at our hose until 8
So Saturday H was nice and funny when he came over to pick up S and he even picked me up and threw me in our pool and was just goofing around.
sunday when H came back and dropped S off from a day and overnight at friends farm he was barley talking stayed 5 minutes, said he was tired and had to go. He left and I haven't heard from him since. What the heck?
This is the stuff that gets me confused what happened within a day. Is this the backsliding or the unpredictability of MLC? I don't put expectations on anything just chalk it up to H and his weirdness.
I will continue with my GAL.
25years you are right about the ring. Who cares at this point to say anything now would be a waste of breath and my time. I have decided to forego anymore thoughts there.
LOL skhdive....they are like aliens right now! Just keep focused on you girl. I went to the spa today and it was wonderful. Do something nice for yourself and forget his craziness for awhile.
Wow I ha e been around the board tonight looks like people ha e a problem finding their own path while mlcer has certainly found theirs be it crazy but whose keeping track. I see there are good and bad results.
I am really going to concentrate on myself and S. I have been getting better but still back slide
The change I need and want to make within myself is to get back myself if that makes sense. I think i became so worried about what H was doing that o wouldn't let myself do anything afraid if I did he would go out and do who knows what.
