Separated/MLC No Change

[skhdive]

So I made 100 posts. I don't know how to link my original post.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2556088#Post2556088

My dilemma today is H has been nice for almost 2 weeks but this week is distant and informed me of he is going to bike night. It bothered me I will admit it. I did not say anything as I know this is what maybe he is looking for a negative reaction from me.

How should I handle this? Should I ignore it? Tell him to have fun? He has never gone to one of these goofy things before. I feel like he is trying to act like a single man or maybe to see what is out there.

[Hopeful321]

Don't say anything at all. If you feel you need to, then be positive.

When I divorced my first husband the first thing he went out and bought was a motorcycle. Then he started to go out to bike night and bars. Yes, it bothered me but I never let it show.

[skhdive]

Let me know what you guys think when doing a 180 so in the past few months when he comes to house to pick up my S I am there and I talk with him etc I am thinking now maybe I shouldn't be there all the time to prevent easy access?

[skhdive]

Thanks for the advice and think you are right. It is a no win situation either way.

Hopeful, we aren't divorced just separated and supposedly working on getting our marriage back but I have seen little effort from him.

[Hopeful321]

I have been separated from my second husband now for almost 3 1/2 months and I have not seen any change what so ever. But I am still hoping that he wakes up before I decide to move forward with the divorce. Leaving in limbo is not healthy for me or us.

[HeavyD]

3.5 months is such a short amount of time.

I would give it longer like a year.

Do you think you can do that?

[Hopeful321]

A year? No, I can't do that and I won't. That is not fair to me or my daughter.

[Hopeful321]

A year? No, I can't do that and I won't. That is not fair to me or my daughter.

[Sotto]

Hi Hopeful, I think the most important thing is to feel happy and at peace with the decision you do make. I've been here 10 months now, and I agree that being in limbo WRT my M isn't ideal. But the way I look at that is I'm moving forward in most areas of me life. I'm also trying to save my M if that's possible. It may not be.

But, if or when I do throw in the towel, I want to feel I gave this all I possibly could, and then I think I can move on happily myself. We are all different and it's such a personal thing, but that's how I feel.

Can I ask why you feel giving things a year would be unfair to you both?

[Zues126]

A year? No, I can't do that and I won't. That is not fair to me or my daughter.

I'll admit, when I first read this I thought to myself "neither is D". But then I reread your recap below. This hasn't been 3.5 months. This has been a long term issue.

Are you two in the same house right now?