Letting Go Part III

[HeavyD]

Old Thread -

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...095#Post2565095


Time for a new thread

[HeavyD]

So my D6 and I have been invited to a teapart for our Girl Scouting adventures. This will be a lot of fun for her and hopefully for me as well.

This is my week with the kids. So, for my s9, I have arranged a play date for the 2 hours we will be occupied with our tea party.

I put this on the family calendar.

My w emails and asks if she wants me to watch S9 for this event.

Is this her way of reaching out, is this some sort of olive branch? I think I am reading more into it than I should?

On one hand, being so distant from her is truly awful, on the other hand, she is divorcing me, leaving me for the A/P and blown up our family.

What say you wise DB concil? Accept or politely decline?

My immediate idea was this email:

Dear W

Thank you for offering to watch S9 during this teaparty event. I really appreciate it, however, I have already made plans for S9 to have a play date.

Thanks again,

X

[Wonka]

Good job on scheduling the activities for your children, Heavy. Your email draft looks good to go. Short and to the point.

[HeavyD]

Hi Wonka

Always good to hear from you. I hope all is well with you.

So you don't think this is rejecting an offer to play nice? I feel like if I never accept her offers then I will miss any opportunities to build any re connection. It feels like the connection just grows weaker and weaker the longer we are unconnected.

Maybe I am just hopeless and try to read tea leaves.

[pilot]

It is not a rejection. It is a demonstration that you are able to function without her. Something she needs to see.

[HeavyD]

Thanks Pilot

It just feels that I am always rejecting her - possible attempts of thawing. i guess I am feeling guilty that I don't miss any of the "signs" she might be ready to talk.

I am probably being overly dramatic here but Good Lord. Now I second guesss every interaction and how it is perceived by her.

But wait, I am supposed to have dropped the rope, which means no pursuit, which means, I do things for me, regardless of what she may/may not think about it or how she may or may not perceive it.

I realize I do a lot of mind reading and projecting. That is a bad habit I have to break.

My fear is that each time I say no thanks, we get further and further apart and the less chance we will ever have for any conection.

[Fogg]

Don't feel guilt about missing signs she wants to talk. Its not your responsibility to start a relationship talk, if she wants to talk, she will make it known.

[Kramer]

Heavy,

I understand exactly what you're saying. It is such a fine line between detaching and missing a chance to reconnect. As time has gone on, though, I agree with the majority of posters that you need to be strong, independent, and moving forward in your new life. Until she is willing to talk about reconciliation, your interactions should be minimal. Just my opinion.

[HeavyD]

Thanks Kramer

I get it. It's a bitter pill.

How goes it with your sitch Kramer? Any movement on your front?

[HeavyD]

Thanks Fogg

You are right. She knows where to find me. So far she has only shown me contempt and disregard. She's sorry but only for how she ended it.

Guess I just have to detach more and deal.

How goes your situation?