Update on my situation. I am setting up meetings for a few different attorneys. I want someone that I am comfortable with. They all make me nervous.
I had a good weekend! Started out with me calling my WW out on her B.S. She started talking about her trip and what she needed to take and what she was going to leave for when she goes back and forth. I told her, " let's just stop all the B.S.! You are going out there to see if you want to live on your own or maybe you have a guy. Call it what it is! I told her, you want to go, there is the door. We will make arrangements with the kids. I am done playing games. I have done things in our marriage that I need to work on, but if you think you will be happier with someone else, have it at." Than I walked outside and started working in the yard. It's amazing how much work you can do when you're pissed off. I kept my cool while talking to her and let out my anger on the lawn! I was a mowing fool.
Anyway, she seemed different all weekend. We got along well. I did my thing and helped get stuff set up for the yard sale.
Sunday we went shooting. That was fun! Kids had a good time! Than I had a good talk with S19. We had some talks about his job and other issues. I think he is experimenting with drugs. He opened up to me pretty good. He asked me if his mom was a phone sex operator. Said he heard her one night. Told me he was going to ask her himself, but got a knot in his gut everytime he thought about talking about it. I told him the truth. He was kinda upset and can see why I would be upset with it.
So I am just plugging along, working on myself and spending time with my kids and talking to lawyers.
Last edited by Cadet; 05/05/1510:29 PM. Reason: Link
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I don't think D and S had a conversation. Not sure if they will soon. S now knows that D knows. I actually confronted W last night about it. I asked her why she doesn't just stay with her mom and dad if she actually going out to help them. She said because she can't work from their house. I told her maybe she needs to stop lying to her whole family.
"Ironic, your responses to your W came at the same time as I kicked H out of the big house!"
Great minds think alike!! Honestly V I am impressed at your ability to stand like you have. If I was in your shoes with no kids at home, I doubt I would have been able to stand that long.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
I am still standing, like the lighthouse. H is lost far at sea he has a long journey, possibly circumnavigating the globe before I can open the lighthouse door.
In the meantime I am DBing, going dark. This is for me.
12steps has really helped too.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I think I am also like the lighthouse! I have learned alot from you.
I am not a big religious person, but I believe in God and pray all the time. I know God has been by my side through this. There have been several times in the past few months that I have tried contacting a lawyer and either they don't call back or didn't return my email. I may have taken that as a sign that it wasn't time.
"In the meantime I am DBing, going dark. This is for me."
Good for you V!! 12 steps are great!!
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
V, I have had to do all the laundry and dishes for quite some time. I was shocked to see that she did 2 loads. And she actually bought groceries. Usually she grabs something quick for me and the kids to eat. I have been doing all these things because they need to get done, it is part of caring for my children and if we were divorced, I would be doing them anyway.
These up and down behaviors are weird. W has been talking more to me the past couple days and even kidding around.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Saturday is youngest S birthday. We will be going to town for the day. He wants a new bike. Sunday, I am hoping weather is nicer so we can get outside. I will grab a card so kids can give it to their mom for mothers day. I used to buy her something nice and do dinner and things in the past to make her feel special on Mother's day. Now that I am detaching from all this, I may barbecue. I am going to really be working on me this weekend. W is being pretty cold to me today. I struggle with the disrespect.
My tolerance for these junior high games is something I am also struggling with. But I feel it is good for me. I practice concentrating on myself when I start getting those irritated feelings. I STFU and start to think about how to best deal with the situation. I stop myself and wonder if it really matters all that much.
Other issues to deal with are older S and his party habits. I think I am handling everything ok. All these things are out of my control. I have been a little lax lately on working on my own issues. I will concentrate on these things. WW and older S are both old enough to make their own choices.
Last edited by Joe46; 05/09/1504:49 AM.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
He opened up to me pretty good. He asked me if his mom was a phone sex operator. Said he heard her one night. Told me he was going to ask her himself, but got a knot in his gut everytime he thought about talking about it. I told him the truth. He was kinda upset and can see why I would be upset with it. 
Honestly V I am impressed at your ability to stand like you have. If I was in your shoes with no kids at home, I doubt I would have been able to stand that long.