My STBX exhibited the same behaviors until I told her to not come home on one of her nights out. That brought the A in the open and it also revealed alot of truths to the lies she's been stringing me along with.
My STBX was confused about whether to stay or go but she was not confused about never letting the OM go.
I can tell you that complete detachment has only made my STBX stressed. She is also seeing the OM regularly and overnight.
My path now is to separate. It's the only avenue that I haven't done yet.
Thank sandi . She last spoke of leaving in late January .Since then I asked her why she hasnt left and she said that shes scared . Affraid its the wrong move but affraid to stay also . I try to give her alot of space but she seems so confused . Im sure she is . I feel pain for her .Shes made a huge mess out of our lives and she knows if she leaves it will continue .So I dont knowe whaT TO TELL HER . i KNOW SHE WANTS ME TO TELL HER TO GO AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE .However that wouldnt be the truth .Its a terrible spot to to be in . She could commit to our family again and I know the kids would treat her with love and respect again . But if she leaves both boys have already stated they will disown her .And theres nothing I can do about that . They are 16 and 14 and have minds of their own . I tried to sheild them from the truth and was sucessful for almost a year but she did everything to not not hide it and I just gave up and they found out . Now shes devastated that they dont show love or respect to her anymore . I told her countless times what would happen if the cat got out of the bag but she was so enthralled with her fairy tale love story she didnt care . Now she admits to me it was a fairytale
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
W has been exhibiting depressed behavior . One day shes pleasant and planting flowers and being a mother and somewhat of a wife the a couple days later shes withdrawn , lazy locks herself in her room and doesnt interact with us at all . I mourn the loss of my old wife so much it makes me physically sick . Its so hard to see her so un happy and I cant help her . The only thing I can do is distance myself and get a life . This works for me , but nothing to help her . I see her slipping away from everything day by day but if I try to help she just pushes me away . I believe she blames me for everything .But in reality shes the one who made the terrible choices thats practically ruined us all . Im the only reason we are still standing at all. I think she has genuinely tried to quit the OM but I believe he is relentless in his pursuit and he is destroying her and she doesnt even see it . Hes forcing her to choose between her children and him . Not me . Its already been made clear that she chooses him over me. However I guess she never thought much about her kids . She obviously didnt realize that her sons would be so pissed off and unforgiving even though I told her many times . Dare I say I told you so lolol . I think not .How do we get out of this mess ? I wish I could figure it out . Dawgy
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
