In your W's mind .. the M is over, and all her actions are in line with this. I would suspect like you .. with all you have mentioned that there is an OM ... again .. she is WAW and this is not out of the norm but what she is doing is out of your control
Asking her where she is going ... no. What you need to do is plan something cool and fun with S and act like you could not give a poo about what she is doing .... she fired you ... its time to work on you ... GaL PMA and 180 your tail off. She no doubt is bracing for you to get all up in her face about where she is going and with who ... this will only drive her to get as far away from you as fast as she can. Don't give her that. Act like it does not matter, you are a responsible parent you can handle S2 with or without her.
I know it stinks ... but you have to do you right now. if she is going to toss your M out the window .. .nothing you can do about that. You can walk with grace and dignity .. guilt free ... your M means something to you ... be the bigger person here.
Thanks CaliGuy. Im going to plan a great weekend with S2. I will continue to 180 and GAL. I have to keep telling myself that i have no control over what W does, but i do have control over how i respond and react. Sometimes, i cant believe that i drove my W to this point of throwing out our marriage.
Me-35 W-34 Married 6/2011 T-6 years S-2 BD-3/22/2015
I went to have a beer with some co workers (GAL) and when I came home W doesn't say a word. I said hello and no response. While I was playing with S2 W has her back against the wall texting almost like she wants to make sure no one can see her texts.
Me-35 W-34 Married 6/2011 T-6 years S-2 BD-3/22/2015
Feeling okay today. W didnt say a word to me this morning. I asked her if we could share the guacamole for lunch and she said no. I was going to reply, but i just left the room(my 180. usually i would have said something). I dont know if i am doing things right, but i know i am trying. GAL is hard with both of us living together. Trying to distance myself from W and do my own thing, but it seems as though W is getting more mad, the more distance i put between us and the more i GAL/detach. She is also becoming more distant as well, so why is she getting irritated with me?
Me-35 W-34 Married 6/2011 T-6 years S-2 BD-3/22/2015
So we are preparing our house to put it up for sale next week. W wanted me to help with some of the cleaning and organizing. I usually do all the cleaning (dishes, floors, bathrooms, etc), but i decided that im not going to be W's slave, so i cleaned up my belongings and my room and that was it. I ended up going to a game board night, which was a lot of fun to just be out. W seemed irritated when i got home as she didnt say a word to me.
I then turn on the tv and W comes down to sit on the couch with me. Doesnt say a word the entire 2 hours, but just goes on her phone, whether she is texting or playing a game i dont know. Every time i got up, she turned as if i was looking at her phone. She was very obvious in her movements. I dont know what W is up to and i dont know what to think or do from here. Is my detaching working? Should i apply LRT?
Me-35 W-34 Married 6/2011 T-6 years S-2 BD-3/22/2015
W texted me asking if i was going to do anything with S2 on Memorial Day. I texted W that i would tell her by EOD. She replied never mind, its okay. I then texted her that she can spend the day with S2, since I've had S2 the last two weekends. did i respond in the right manner? am i detaching correctly?
Me-35 W-34 Married 6/2011 T-6 years S-2 BD-3/22/2015
as long as what you did was for you (you already had plans) or/and your son (he wanted to go with mamma) and not for dher, then you did fine. if your response was for her benefit...to gain points with her, then you can try again next time.
so many emotions and thoughts going through my head right now. Looking back at our marriage, i've come to accept that i have caused my W so much pain and emptiness over the last few years. W would complain that i never wanted to do anything but stay at home and watch tv or just hang out (i was going through a bad depression after the passing of my Mom). She would complain about how i was not there for her emotionally. I had always told her that she wasnt there for me when i was going through the depression, but now i realize what she means by me not being there for her during that time. Before, i would get angry at her saying that i wasnt there for her, but now i realize that I wasnt there for her during that time. I wasnt the man i shouldve been and i really let my W down during those two years. I used to always complain that we never had sex, but after some self reflection, i realized that its all my fault. I didnt do anything romantic or sexual for her. I never put her in the mood. I just expected it without putting in any work. i was such a selfish husband. This forum, DR, and time has allowed me to sort of understand what my WAW is going through. I just hope that i can change myself, my behaviors, my personality, and my life so that i can be a happy, stable person and father. I dont know if my W will ever reconcile, but i hope that i can make the necessary changes to become a better person.
Me-35 W-34 Married 6/2011 T-6 years S-2 BD-3/22/2015
