I had a long talk with the junior partner yesterday and a meeting scheduled with both attorneys next week. It's not the final because I won't sign it. I've identified my non-negotiables and have a defensible alimony plan.
I'm also planning a letter that I want my lawyers to review that will state my main concerns to stbx. He shafted the kids one way in his draft that has nothing to do with me, so it may not sway him, but as with the marriage, if it doesn't work I will have done everything I can do.
I'm in a totally different place today from yesterday. I am MIGHTY.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
(This was written following ralliced's post so it's a little out of context.)
I know that it hits us in a personal and hurtful way. But do we need to latch on to that and make decisions from that place? Or can we see it for what it is and let it go knowing full well that a lot of what happens in D is orchestrated by people not emotionally involved and it's done for effect?
I see lots of people veer into crazyland at this point, with personal attacks flying because ego has been hurt.
When all we are is ego, it's very easy to go that route. I'm raising my hand here, cause that was me. You hurt me, I hurt you.
Maybell, I think you've come a long way on this road to a place where you can read that offer, feel the pang of it but then say, I don't have to let this control me or my actions. I'm in control of me and my actions. I will let the emotion pass and think about this with a clear head.
((( )))
Last edited by labug; 04/17/1501:54 PM.
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
I hate to say it about someone that you chose to marry, but for a presumable well educated, intelligent man, your STBX is a dope. Make that a childish, entitled dope.
While it probably hurts to hear that he personally penned some of those painful things, the fact that he didn't use lawyers is kind of a boneheaded move in the circumstances.
We all read lots of stories about acrimonious "bitter" divorce cases - but the truth is I think most divorce lawyers who are knowledgeable about how the judges in their area behave, can give you a pretty good idea, and with some certainty, about where all of this will land. Listen to your lawyers an be guided about what they think will fly - and don't back down.
Really- I presume he's not looking for more time with the kids, right? So really - this comes down to money, right? (I'm ignoring whatever ridiculous clause he chose to put in about your personal behavior, which is probably unenforceable anyway). Your lawyers will probably have a very good idea about what a judge would decide on that score.
