Mighty, One more thing to address w/this guy...advise him not to give out your telephone number to anyone. That is your business to give out, not his. That really stepped over the line and you don't need strangers, especially men, calling your home number w/o you know who they are.
Heather, it really is a scary thought at how we can truly misread someone like that. Although, who would ever expect that kind of behavior from anyone? Well... we are learning the hard way, huh?
Hope- hey there! Hope you are well. I don't think you have to register to read posts. But, I'm not so disheartened by the posts as I am by the lack of respect. So, for now, I will remain status quo.
AJ- the cat starter kit? So funny. I may have a real problem here... in the store, I was not only talking to myself, buy I had the hands going and everything. WHAT??!! I am turning into THAT lady! Yikes! Yeah... back to the exercise. D14 asked about kick boxing this week. We missed the last registration. So, I will look into the next session. I plan on taking another session of yoga this summer, and would love to take tennis lessons. With the weather getting better, I'm feeling more motivated to get back into running.
My brother was just assigned an athletic director position this week. He is already on me about coaching. I've been asked several times in the past, but with my kids in sports elsewhere, I didn't want to miss that. So, I'd consider that in the future. Right now I want to watch d14, but I'm sure the next few years will go so quickly. I don't want to rush them!!! Oh, and don't worry about my brother already trying to recruit me or anything. It's not nepotism or anything.. there is just no one else available!
LT- what a psycho! Get a clue, girl! I actually told a girl once to settle down and play a little hard to get. I tried to be as nice as possible- from one girl to another, but she was making a mockery out of herself the way she was coming for my son 24/7. Geesh!
uR- my revenge thoughts aren't anything scary. More humorous to me than anything. Like, how upset she would be to have her truth revealed. She is a victim- of reality. But does an excellent job of living in denial. Oh well.... whatever. I'm sure I won't think about it at all at some point. I have moments where I am at that place, so I know it's not impossible.
Thanks for being on cat guard for me. And yeah... the innocent sign... I'm an idiot.
job- I think I've made my point so far. I am on watch thought and will be sure to set it straight, as clearly as possible if needed. And he hasn't given my number out, he makes jokes in disguise voices thinking its funny. Like a generic Fire Marshall Bill or something.
I don't think it will broach full stalker status, just inappropriate. I actually did have a stalker last year and it scared the crap out of me. I bout a weight set off him for my s after xh took the one here. My friend set it up. The next day he was at my house. She told him where I lived! I was so freaked out. I almost died! Plus I was still married- it was before nuke. I wasn't happy. Then he started driving by all the time. And would sit out front of my house. My kids would be here but didn't know. I was a afraid s18 was going to go ham on him if he realized. He would tell my friend he wanted my number. I made it so clear not to. Then finally I said that if I say him come by my house again, I'd call the police. Now, my friend just got another reminder of that. Another flag.
Xh is still continuing his childish behavior. D14 told me last night xh texts her dumb stuff all the time. Like, "Hi" just randomly. He has not idea what he is doing. I think he needs constant attention and reassurance. She doesn't respond much. Well doesn't go out of her way. And last night she said she didn't respond at all that day. Then he asked, "are you mad too?"
Then he says, "cool" all the time to her. That's what he said to me on her birthday when I didn't include him. "You're cool." "Annoying" that was his response.
Today she said she had this exchange:
xh: Do you have more than one game per week?
d14: I don't know.
xh: cool...
xh: Do you have plans this weekend?
d14: yes
xh: cool...
d14: why do you always say cool and do ... ?
xh: annoyed
d14: OK. Have fun being annoyed!!
She came and shared that w s18 and I. They talked for about 30 seconds about it. I shrugged.
And I'm pretty sure he drove by tonight. Late. He admitted he always used to. But I hadn't really noticed before. Not after nuke, anyway. But now? I just can't imagine it. Diaper run and a detour? Who cares.
I don't worry so much about what he is doing now. Most of my thinking is the hurt. The past. Trying to heal. I guess that's what this is.
I do notice that he is in the exact same position. At least that's how it feels. The only difference is that the baby is born. So, I'm sure that changes things for him. But the reality is that it feels the same, as far as the feeling I have.
That may not make sense, but I think there is an innate vibe... a feeling... a connection to something a little deeper with them. Not that we know or understand.. but can feel their turmoil or something. But the actions and situation is exactly where he was before he came back. Exactly in the same spot. He didn't learn a friggin thing. And he still expects everyone to just go along with his choices with no questions or feelings about it.
Blah. I'm not worried about it. I'm moving on. Like molasses.. but soon I will be a sugar snap. Just gotta bake.
I just stopped by to let you know, that I really really really really like where you are headed....and I'm smiling big.
It is a tough road, for sure. I see things changing in you little by little. Keep going, girlie. One small step at a time. You'll see. I have no doubt.
Well.... He broke his silence. It's been over two months. The longest ever. He texted something about s18s grades being bad. I didn't open the text, so I'm not entirely sure.
The ironic thing is the s18s report card came yesterday. It was the best he has done since bomb. It was actually decent. Not high 90s like it used to be- but, hey, I'll take it. And, maybe there is a coincidence that not only has this been his best report, but he hasn't spoken to xh through the marking period, where he had some communication previously. S18 seems more settled, comfortable, and mature, and I'm proud of his growth.
Anyway, when I saw he texted me, I was shocked. Not prepared. I'm not going to respond. That ship has sailed. I did get some anxiety, but nothing- not even remotely close to what it was like before. I am so glad for that.
But, as I realize there will be more seeing him now, I feel disappointed. It is such a bummer... The thing I love so much is watching my kids play sports (or whatever they are involved in). And now, I have to endure his presence. I know I will work it out for myself- but it does stink. It shouldn't be like that. For so many reasons.
Today is d14s first lax game of the season. So, I guess I will have to get used to it. It was such a nice break.
I totally agree w/uR...you've got this and do not allow him to take anything more from you.
Stand up straight, keep that back straight and smile and say hi to people you know. Don't let him see you sweat!
You've got this!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hey uR & job. The game was cooooooollld! So cold! I was bundled up. D14 scored 5 goals! I am in the parking lot now... Just dropped her and 2 friends off at Panera.
I didn't see xh. But d14 said she saw him and she didn't look in that direction again bc it made her sick. And he looked weird. He was dressed weird.
Ahhhhh.... Some things don't change. Including the spending of money for someone who has none.
I was fine. I am fine. Just hearing that makes me feel a little upset, but that's just a a normal feeling these days!
Gonna keep doing me. Got some plans coming up and more in the works.
I know one thing for sure. I am so much better without contact. I could be ok without seeing him again. It sounds harsh. But it's not in anger. I want to have our memories as good one. Then end it there.
Now, he offers me nothing but pain and hurt. That is it. Not one ounce more. I don't want that in my life anymore. I am healing from the wounds. Cleaning up the mess. And I want to leave it alone once it's done. I don't need it to continue. Seeing him, texts, anything to do with him today is only a painful reminder of who he has become.
I just want to gracefully fade away from him. Or.... Slam the friggin door. Lock it. Pad lock it. Chain it. Bolt it. Kick it with the bottom of my foot to make sure it's closed tightly. And for good measure... Put a dead end sign on it.
Look at D! That's awesome. And I love me some Panera.
Mighty, you are doing so well. You seem to be hitting your stride...probably in boots cause it's not full on sandal season where you are.
Hugs to you:)
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
