Like Starsky said, nothing is going to wreck nor fix your M this weekend ... and when she stumps you ... divert like Matrix with the "I need to think about that" which for me often translated to "Let me check with my DB gurus and see what I should do here because I am WAY to emotionally vested to make a clear decision at this time"
Reading your threads ... Seems like you are a good guy ... thats why people are jumping in here to help you ... maybe you are to much of a good guy I am not sure .... the focus right now is on your W and her spinning ... I am curious to why she felt little hesitation to let you know she was in fact in an EA, and soon later admitted to the PA .... your action of giving her coffee that next morning I think made the entire forum Pop up like we were a hear of caribou looking for a predator. So that leads me to......
At some point in all this ... maybe not now .. I am just planting a seed here. Food for thought for later if you will. Maybe you are TOO NICE? maybe she lost respect for you ... ask yourself what lead to this A .... I get you both got busy for a bit .. but there could be more. The A was her choice don't get me wrong but we all play a part in the M ... maybe start looking inward and figuring out what your part might have been as you will have to work on that later.
I only say this ... I too was a nice guy, I just went with things ... I was the "I don't care what would you like" guy ... something I have had to remove from my tool box.
Hang in there .. this ride is bumpy but you will get to where you need to be.
I think I've earned a dram or two of Laphroaig tonight, myself! Thanks again to all, particularly Starsky, for the advice and encouragement. What a wild ride.
@Caliguy: Yes, I am an "I don't care what would you like" guy. I too am going to be working on removing that from the old tool box. But that's a worry for another day. Tonight I'm going camping.
I think I've earned a dram or two of Laphroaig tonight, myself! Thanks again to all, particularly Starsky, for the advice and encouragement. What a wild ride.
As my dad would say, "Enjoy!"
You are welcome, K, and it is my pleasure. I know I busted your b*lls pretty hard there for awhile, but I gotta hand it to you -- when you snap into action, you snap into action. You remind me a lot of myself (also a classic fixer/pleaser/"Mr. Nice Guy"), actually. And I was an IDIOT when I first landed here, and did NOT listen to everyone who was trying to warn me that my indifference towards my wife was going to lead to her having an affair. Nope, not MY wife!
But when I got bombed? I snapped into action REAL quick, I will give myself that. So after a year and a half, I guess I was an overnight sensation, LOL.
Got spewed on a bit when I stopped off at home to pick up overnight stuff. W said it wasn't fair that I hadn't outlined how things are going to work re: co-parenting. I said that I wasn't going to discuss it tonight and left asap.
Got spewed on a bit when I stopped off at home to pick up overnight stuff. W said it wasn't fair that I hadn't outlined how things are going to work re: co-parenting.
Yeah, gee honey, I'm so sorry. See I didn't know you were going to open your legs and have sex with another man so I kinda didn't figure all that other stuff out. I do hope you'll forgive me!!
(Just venting here, obviously do NOT say that, but GEEZ!)
