Old dog seeks new trick 7

[Old Dog]

Time to start a new thread.

• Old dog seeks new trick 1
• Old dog seeks new trick 2
• Old dog seeks new trick 3
• Old dog seeks new trick 4
• Old dog seeks new trick 5
• Old dog seeks new trick 6

[gan]

Hmmm...what palette to go on this blank canvas? Not sure that you completed the Lichtenstein, did you?

[Old Dog]

Oh Pollocks! I forgot. I'll nip down the shop for a packet of Rothco and then make a start.

[Old Dog]

My own expectation of daft lass's behaviour is causing resentment in me. I can see that clearly, but it still hard to combat.

I am trying to take a mindfull approach. These thoughts are only in my own head. Mindfullness teaches you to examine them and assess if what you are thinking is real, and if not you do not have to believe them.

Still struggling though.

[Old Dog]

I've got a DB call with Chuck this evening. Got a lot to discuss, not least me considering moving out.

[Sotto]

Hi OD - good luck with your call tonight. Let us know how it goes won't you?

How does DB Coaching work if you're in the UK BTW??

[Sotto]

Oh, and another thing, someone said it really helped to record the call and play it back to themselves afterwards....

[Old Dog]

I call via Skype. It costs less than a pound for 50 mins. I Skyped my 'Feel the fear' workshop leader on Tuesday and it kept cutting out. Fingers crossed it doesn't do that today.

I recorded my first conversation with Chuck and wrote out notes afterwards. I may do the same this evening. I use a program caled Callnote from Kanda Software. There's a free version and it's cross platform (Mac & PC).

[Old Dog]

A few notes from my phone call with DB coach Chuck.

Thank her for letting me know that she was going to go on a date rather than find out.

Let her know I am planning on making a change. I need to examine our budget, tell her what I think depending on the result, get her input and then adjust it fairly.

Bring up my thought that I'm thinking of leavin as it will impact her and the kids. How do you feel about this?

Still act as though she is my sister.
Be calm and confident.
Have collaborative discussions out of mutual respect.
Let her see that this is not intended to punish her. Taking such action would backfire.
Let her see that I am leading, being pro active.

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I will take a look at our budget. She has been cake eating and it can't go on indefinately.

I'll hold the leaving thought for now. Too much at the same time I reckon.

After a few days away again and after speaking to Chuck, my Feel the fear coach and my knowledgable flatmates I feel I am able to handle things.

[Sotto]

Hey OD - sounds like good advice from Chuck - a good blend of 'reality check' but done in a very pleasant, non-punishing way.

Sounds like you are doing well my friend. Good that you can see you are feeling better after just a few days. I also find that I bounce back quicker than I did....progress...