Thank you for the responses. Steve85 you are completely correct, I am guilty of NGS 100%. I really don’t know why I resorted to begging again, maybe it’s easier then detaching? And the fear of loosing my marriage. But in response to ovtrnbw, what actually worked was when I really truly stopped caring about her and when I didn’t want to R anymore. Returning calls the next day, she’d invite me somewhere and I wouldn’t show, just really being an a-hole. I feel like she is the type of person who wants what she can’t have. Deep down inside I am aware that I need to get to that point again for 2 reasons. First and most importantly for my own sanity, and second, if I want any chance at this, it’s the only way. I do need an opinion about what are my duties vs NGS. Example, there is a broken window (that I temporarily fixed with plexiglass and tape a while ago). She told me to fix it. Since she is staying in the house (I’m the one leaving), I told her that it was her problem to get it fixed. She said that I’m being a a-hole for not helping and threw a glass of water on me. Also her car has an issue that needs fixed (it’s driveable just check engine light on). This are both things that I enjoy doing (construction and mechanic work) and wouldn’t cost me any effort at all. Am I wrong for not doing these things? I want her to see how life really would be without me since that is what she wants. But she takes it as me being an a-hole (her words). So what would you do in my shoes? Thank you all for the support 😊
Yes you are correct, that is what I needed to hear. I will just cut her completely off then. Yesterday morning was the last communication we had, she was saying she hated me and wants me out of her life ASAP. I replied “It would be best if we don’t talk anymore. If you change your mind one day just contact me, otherwise I don’t have anything to talk to you about” and that was it. Was that a bad response? I was frustrated from the arguing in the moment.
Also when I came home today I noticed the window was replaced, it’s installed crooked but it’s new lol. I guess her mom lent her money to replace it? She’s probably expecting me to react?
I wouldn't even bring up the window. If she does, then say "great".
I'm at a similar point as you. Unless the W is actually on board with the MR, the small talk isn't always useful if the WAS is being rude and trying to start fights.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
