Well this morning I received my keys to my new place. I was
very excited so I did something I probably should not have. I
sent my ex a unnecessary email. and it goes as follows:
There are some things i wanna ask you. There are some things i wanna say to you. I know right now is not the time. But with the move getting ready to happen and us moving forward I cant help but reflect. I just wanted to let you know that you make me happy because you have shaped the woman I am today. Moving forward I can reflect on how happy you have made me in the littlest ways. I take that with me into the next chapter of my life.
This is very hard for me but Im trusting God
I will have my keys in hand tomorrow!!
I also sent a text that said I just want you to know that I
appreciate you. Have a good day.
My girlfriend said it was unnecessary. I did tell him no
feelings just about kids then I go and send this mush...ugh
overall I feel better about it because he knows that when I
give positive feed back Im usually waiting for him to
reciprocate. But Im actually okwith giving him this and Im ok
that he has not called me to reciprocate so I guess this was
more for me than him. Its like I wanna be the one who gives
without expectation. I wanna give without feeling a risk. Hey
if he and I do only co parent Im gonna be on top. Despite the
OW and countless other EA I can say that I am worth more
because I have given more. This sounds great but not so easy I
just no Im moving on for the betterment of all involved.
Well my apartment is so tiny I wanna cry. My house is HUGE and
Im moving to a two bedroom I could just lose all my marbles I
have no idea how this is going to work. I have no choice of
course but I guess it incentive for me to move on and detach.
He thought I was getting a 3 bedroom when I spoke to him and I
told him no he was in shock I think but hey he knows my money
sitch. I also asked him to loan me a couple of bucks for
parking at work he was very oblige able. This is the start of a
long road ahead.
Also I have two vehicles his car broke down and its very
expensive for him to get it out. I asked him if he would take
my car and pay me for it as well as fix it I have been trying
to sell it but no one wants to deal with it because of the
repairs needed. This car was given to me through the marital
decree. So he knows that it has issues but would be better for
us both if he would repair and pay me monthly. I will be
writing up a contract and I hope that this mutual agreement
will help us in our journey. The OW has been driving him around
and this is how they became so close. My exh refused taking the
keys several times because in the beginning when he left he
asked and I said hell no. So then she stepped in and said dont
ask her we will do this together. Well he and probably OW are
at the end of the rope of sharing a car. He said he would let
me know if we will go through with the agreement today but Im
not going to bet he does. Honestly I hope he does but hey I
will still go on regardless. Just being honest I want the OW
gone yesterday ugh. Well I have to get motivated and pack.
Me:34/EXH:29 Kids: S13, D5, D4 M/o7 HaskedforDgavetohim6/14 decided to work on get remarried counseling. Kids work went back to old routine. Left Nov 10 2014 OWDec92014
