I just read up on your sitch. Sorry you are here, but you will find some great people and great advice.
Have you stopped making your H's coffee, preparing is lunch, and getting his clothes ready? With the way he us treating you, I would let him deal with those things. He is acting like a teenager and you are not his mom.
What GAL do you have planned for the weekend?
BW
Me: 42 H: 40 M: 12 H moved out - 8/2015 I filed - 8/2015
how to you guys keep it together when still living in the situation? this weekend was such a nightmare for me. The sil that started the rumors and helped cause all this trouble 7yrs ago he had at our house this weekend and i'm suppose to play nice. Well by the end of then night after everyone left my emotional ass spilled my guts and feelings all over the place. Next day he acted as if nothing had happened. Ugh....such a mess
Me:38 H:38 s11, d16 m12 bd 8/22/14 still living together
I read up on your sitch and like you I am living with my MLCer. We have two kids. I know how hard it is.
One of the things that has helped me is to try REALLY hard to keep up a PMA (positive mental attitude). First, I have kiddos watching my H act like a teenager so I need to pattern normalcy and offer stability. But also, it has helped me, too. It prevents me from getting drawn into his negative mood and sort of leads me to detach more effectively. I smile when he walks in the door! Try with each interaction to leave him with a positive impression of you. If you falter, brush yourself off and try again.
As for our living sitch, I was advised my my (DB) divorce busting coach to treat my H like a house guest. I think of detaching as compartmentalizing. I am standing but for my own sanity he is my house guest. I often think of him as a visiting relative. This definitely helps me cope better.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
No, I still do all those things. I do them because I lover him and don't want him to change who I am. I don't want to become bitter or angry to a point of no return. I'm not going to make this any easier on him. I want or kids to see the positive of who I am and still can be through all of this.
Me:38 H:38 s11, d16 m12 bd 8/22/14 still living together
How do I keep up my PMA? I plan breaks for myself when my H is around or his family. I go to the grocery store, go upstairs in my room to read for a bit, do some laundry, take my son out for a walk, play with my s, and so on. I also don't beat myself up for backsliding sometimes. Does that help?
E
M 46 / H 43 T 24/M 18 S 4 11/6/2014 ILYBNILWY 1/16/2015 Living in separate bedroom 1/8/2016 H moved out
Actually it does thank you. I have not heard anything from the group. I emailed them again today in hopes of a response.
I am almost year into this and feel like it's not going anywhere anytime soon. Truthfully how many men and woman that are in the same boat have been successful? I'm dealing with a man who doesn't show any emotions and seldom accepts any responsibility for his behavor
Me:38 H:38 s11, d16 m12 bd 8/22/14 still living together
So here it is and i apologize if it's tmi. Early saturday morning my dh decided he wanted to have sex. The way he went about it was more like a game of chase but the actual act itself was disconnected. He is still sleeping on the couch but he is friendlier and even a little work humorous with me. Not sure wehre this is going but we'll see
Me:38 H:38 s11, d16 m12 bd 8/22/14 still living together
