Much of my thread appears to be gone, even from before the maintenance period.
M: 15 years BD: 6/25/14 EA/PA: starts 5/14/14 11/30/14 - A ends 5/15/15 - D is finalized. 11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
Yeah, I made sure to save all the posts that posted after the announcement (on 9/19). But I seem to be missing things from the previous day. Oh well.
M: 15 years BD: 6/25/14 EA/PA: starts 5/14/14 11/30/14 - A ends 5/15/15 - D is finalized. 11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
While we are waiting for this to get resolved I have a question.
What is the general sentiment on exposing an affair to parents/friends? My wife is at least engaged in an emotional affair with a coworker, she has moved out under the pre-tense of 'needing space', I got the I love you but im not in love with you, and her apartment is in the same part of town as the guy she is having the EA with. She texts him frequently and they speak on the phone (call logs prove it). I do not know if they have been physical yet, but if they havent it is only a matter of time.
I have a thread on this but its on page 2 and I cant get to it!
To get to your posts you'll need to go to the "My Stuff" menu item and go to Posts.
I talked to friends about my H's affair because I NEEDED to, but I tried to respect his space and didn't take it to his friends unless I had an outstanding reason. Which only happened once. I did not tell his family. It can backfire and it certainly won't help the situation.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Seattle, click on your name in the left pane of the posting box. A dropdown appears and My Posts is at the bottom or you can get there from My Stuff on the header up top. If you're on a phone, I have no idea if it's the same.
About the affair, what is your motive for exposing? What are you hoping it will accomplish?
Me 57/H 58 M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13
Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do. I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering. Caroline Myss
The theory (as I've read on other boards) is to shock the WAS out of the fog, and is typically done best in the early phases of the A.
It's a high-risk move, and it goes against the DB way. It is especially harmful if your W knows that it was you who exposed it.
In my situation, I was hoping the OMW would expose it early on (she knew about the A a month before I did), but she never did because she is 100% financially dependent on her H. Exposing the A would have risked her H losing his job (and ruining his career, along with my W's career).
M: 15 years BD: 6/25/14 EA/PA: starts 5/14/14 11/30/14 - A ends 5/15/15 - D is finalized. 11/28/15 - Start of new LTR with a wonderful woman (and still going strong)!
The OnLine Community updates are now complete and we are up and running as usual. Thanks for your patience.
YAY
BF:40 M:33 SD: 12 T: 8, never married, no kids together BD: 8/4, "I'm just done", "...too tired and burnt to try". PA confirmed 8/5 "It happened, but it's been over for almost a year".
