Ok really trying to GAL. I have joined a tennis league, which starts in 1 week. I haven't played tennis in about 25 years so it should be interesting. I signed up to play mixed doubles by using the "Find a Partner" search on the league website. This is waaaayyyy out of my comfort zone but I am really going to start GALing.
H texted on Friday asking if there were any plans this weekend. I texted back a few things that I was planning on doing, including playing tennis. I know GALing is really for me but I want him to see that I am moving forward. Usually when he asks if anything is going on he will say that he's coming over for a visit on Sunday for a few hours. He didn't do that this time and I never heard anything more from him so I figure he spent the weekend with OW. It is taking every ounce of control I have not to send a sarcastic text. I remember 25 mlc said not to mention the OW or OM *EVER* so that is what I'm trying to do.
Cried while shopping in the grocery store this morning. Cried while at Walmart shopping this afternoon. I think the crying was triggered by the Christmas music and Christmas decorations that are already out.
At times I want to tell him that since he has chosen to leave our family, he is not welcome to come over for Thanksgiving or Christmas and that he can start his own new traditions with OW. She has never been married and has no kids. I don't know if she has other family around or not. H has previously told D23 that he would still spend holidays with us. I would really appreciate some advice or input about the holidays from the vets or anyone else. Don't know what to do.
Me: 54 H: 58 Married: 29 years Together 33 years H admitted to A: 5/29/14 H moved out :6/15/14 OW lives 4 hours away and "occasionally" stays weekends with H D23 D18
Had my first telephone consultation with DB coach Leni last night. She recommended that I concentrate on friendship with H for now with the plan of soon telling him that I am deeply saddened by the hurt, rejection and despair he feels (validating his emotions) and that I love and respect him enough to let him go. Also that I am undergoing deep self-reflection and will make positive changes in myself as I move forward with or without him.
DB coach also said that most affairs end within 6 - 9 months with the exception of long distance affairs. This is because they are not involved in the day to day lives of each other, which allows for the discovery of irritating habits, etc. to happen sooner. My H is in a long distance relationship with OW.
This situation is also pushing me to embark on a spiritual journey. I know that the only way I can possibly survive this is with the help of God. I pray that He helps me to learn from this and to heal and also to understand that He has a plan for me.
Me: 54 H: 58 Married: 29 years Together 33 years H admitted to A: 5/29/14 H moved out :6/15/14 OW lives 4 hours away and "occasionally" stays weekends with H D23 D18
I was feeling the same when H dropped the bomb in February but got stronger by DBing and really GAL. He just moved out 11/15 and I feel myself back in that spot but stronger this time. Less crying and anxiety. I'm continuing to build my life for me and my daughters and TRYING so hard to detach. It's so hard. You're not alone.
M:32 H: 40 D1: 3 D2: 9 months old Bomb dropped: 2/4/14 (I was 7 month preg) Moved out: 11/15/14 OW confirmed and supposedly dumped 1/15
