advice for a newbie

[mudrox]

well here goes my story......

I caught my wife having an affair with a man from work back in mid June. I had been suspecting it for about a month, but found the messages on her phone one day. I confronted her, brought her family involved as she comes from a very religious family and she stated that it was stupid and she was done with the affair.

During the past two months she has continued the affair and will not stop, even though by her own admission it is going nowhere as he if from a foreign country and will be returning home (so she says). I have broken virtually every rule listed on this website as i have confronted her, apologized for my shortcomings. She continues to have the affair and I have moved out due to her getting physically violent about a month ago. We have had no contact the past two weeks, although I have stopped by our apartment for a few things while she has been at work. She has taken down our wedding pictures and continues her affair.

This is not the woman I married as she has always been a religious and faithful person. A few months ago she got a job promotion and is now spending more money on clothes, trips, eating out, and not going to church. She is obsessed with working out and looking fit.

Any recommendations on what i should do?(especially after i have broken many of the rules i have found out on this website in the last week.

I do not want to divorce her as I know the person she is....and this is not her

[Cadet]

Welcome to the board

Get out and GAL.

DETACH.

Believe none of what she says and half of what she does.

Have NO EXPECTATIONS.

Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.

You are on moderation right now on the forum.
SO post in small frequent posts until you get off of it.

Your W is giving you a GIFT.
THE GIFT OF TIME.

USE it wisely.

Knowledge is Power - Sir Francis Bacon

[mudrox]

Also we are both in our late 20s...married for almost 5 yrs and together for 7. Do I wait until she contacts me? Both our families r aware and my family did not say anything mean to her. Just said to get help. We r both seeing counselors, but she does not want to go to marriage counseling together. Our apt lease is up next month and there are things we need to address. Do I wait for her to bring them up?