Everyone was right...especially 25yrsmlc..

[lifejustgothard2]

I know it doesn't matter anymore although we have kids together so I would like him to be a healthy father.

His problem I guess. His life is falling apart in front of his eyes . He has lost us and now will be going from a beautiful country home to an apartment ....alone.

Unless of course he moves in with OW.

I am going to sit back and watch. I can't wait to see what happens.

[HeavyD]

So now my WAW is angry angry angry towards me. I asked via email if we could coordinate Christmas gifts for our two kids and she was so cold - one word NO.

She then sent me a mean email about my scheduling conflicts about keeping the kids. I just can't win. Maybe I should just ignore her all together.

Should I defend myself from her anger or just ignore her. My gut tells me to just ignore her, so that's what I will do.

[HeavyD]

Every time I engage her in conversation (email, text, etc...) I get hostility and seething anger. I can feel it through her messages. I get it, I just won't contact her at all - I guess I have to go completely dark which is hard because we have two little kids.

My WAW was my best friend and my life partner. Her being gone and being so angry makes me feel so sad. I gues I have to get my big girl panties on and deal with the situation the best way I can.

Last night I was at Target trying to get some holiday presents picked out, and to make some plans and I started to cry right there in the store. It all felt so pointless and futile.

[Vapo]

I get you NAJ, we all do. We have all been there and some of us still are there. Use GAL, do stuff for you, do what makes you happy, go out, mingle, get a pilot licence if that floats your boat, go do stuff you always dreamed of doing, but did not have the time ot the guts to do it. As one of the firs posts you got said, you have been given the gift of time, use it wisely.

Be the greatest dad in the world. Do stuff with your kids, for your kids, go roll in the snow with them, take them to the zoo, take them to the pool, go to martial arts class with them, coach their little league team. Don't go about the world in a victim mode. Sure it [censored] what happened to you, sure it is not fair, but NAJ life does not give a rat's ass weather it is fair or not. Make the best of it. If life gives you lemons, make a MF lemonade, just don't sit in a corner and wallow in your sorrow. UHU, poor me, look at me, my W left me, I'm a poor lost baby, come and feel sorry for me.

PMA dude, PMA!!! Positive mental attitude, stare the world in the face with a smile and say HELL NO, I WILL NOT BE BEATEN DOWN. Make that skank of your wife regret the day she left you, the best husband and dad the world has ever seen. How do you do that? Become the best husband&dad the world has ever seen.

In time it will get better, detach from your W and the less contact with her, the better.

And dude, your BD was September, you are doing great! You are only 3 months in. Every month from now on will be better. You will still have crappy days, but there will be less and less of them and the crappy periods will become shorter and shorter.

[HeavyD]

Thanks for the message of support, I needed to hear it.

To be clear, we are a same sex couple, both women. Not a big deal but I wanted to set the record straight on that one.

I will try and be the best Mom and person I can be. I promise to try.

[rd500]

Hi. So sorry to read your story. You seem to be doing the best you can and your focus on the kids is all mportant. As others have posted detach detach detach.

You will be happy again but it's a process that has to be gone through.

Take care rd

[Vapo]

NAJ, do you know who YODA is?

Don't try, DO!

[HeavyD]

YODA from star wars? OK I know a little bit about him and his philosophy fear leads to anger which leads to hatred which leads to suffering. I swear I did not realize that I needed a P.HD in therapy when I got married and had a family. It all seems to bloody complicated.

I will check him out and read up.

I will DO!

[HeavyD]

Yoda

Fear leads to anger
Anger leads to hatred
Hatred leads to suffering

So simple, so true. Jesus.

[okjpc]

NAJ and LJGH2,

I just read this thread and just want to also offer my support to you both. Heartbreaking.

LJGH2, by the way, as a recovering alcoholic myself and someone who attends both AA and Al-anon, I have to agree 100% with everything 25 said. (That woman's something else, huh?) Your H sounds totally lost in his alcoholism. Keep the kids safe and at some point it may help to differentiate dad from his disease. Al-anon could be a good GAL item. You will probably meet many people who can relate to your struggles.