I have been getting more assertive on enforcing boundaries with my Ex. There have been some issues lately and I have been forced to take her to court to get resolved. This has really strained our already difficult relationship, and to be honest, I want nothing to do with her right now.
Earlier this week, I went to pick D15 @ school from her swim meet and she wasn't there. My ex decided to drive her back to my house without asking if it was OK or even notifying me. She couldn't understand why I was upset.
Yesterday, she sent me a text:
Ex: I was looking at tickets to Wicked on XXX. This is on your day for custody. Is it OK if I take her?
Me: Given the problems we are having, I think it is best to stick to scheduling events with the kids on days when you have custody.
Ex: I already purchased the tickets and D15 already knows she is going. The only problem we have is you.
I think it is completely inappropriate to make plans, on a day when I have custody, directly with my D, without getting my permission. There is no respect for me as the girls father.
D15 loves that play and will be very disappointed if I do not let her go, but I feel like I need to say "No" on principle.
switch a day with X to make up, and put her on notice that next time she doesnt ask before buying the answer will be no?
I would be reluctant to disappoint D15 this time to make a point with X.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I would agree with Adinva. Just stipulate that in future you require her to discuss things with you before hand so D15 isn't caught in the middle like she is now.
Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately, this is not a unique occurrence. Stuff like this happens all the time, and I have talked to her about it. There is a total lack of respect for my role/authority as a father. Something needs to change. I am going to give it some more thought.
I checked and the play runs from 12/9 - 1/4. She has 2 weeks custody over this time period. I really don't understand why she can't pick a date when she has custody.
