In Private Lies, Pittman says that it's usually the betrayer who initiates the divorce. That was certainly the case in my situation. He also says, "The betrayed spouse is generally given a chance to decide whether or not to go through with the divorce."
Does anyone have this experience?
He goes on to say that in the case of romantic affairs, "If the divorce can just be slowed down, reality may catch up with the fantasy."
M 16 T 17 W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14 ILYBNIL 5/14 A discovered 6/14 D papers served via USPS 8/14 Filed my response 9/14 D final 5/15...
Sorry. My question is whether anyone here has the experience of a wayward wife filing for divorce then approaching you during the process to ask whether reconciliation is possible.
M 16 T 17 W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14 ILYBNIL 5/14 A discovered 6/14 D papers served via USPS 8/14 Filed my response 9/14 D final 5/15...
I am not in your shoes. However, you are looking for an *answer* that doesn't exist. No one knows whether your W will consider rebuilding a R with you. In my very humble opinion, I don't think contrasting the divorce shows you love her.
She knows you love her and that you don't want a D. Dragging something out that will empty your wallet may not be he best move. Please know that anything is possible. People decide to work on their Rs after saying they were done. People say "I love you" and BD later that day. The outcome is unknown.
You would do yourself a favor by working on yourself and shifting the focus from her. I know it's difficult. Take care of yourself.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Would you guys advise against filing a counter claim on grounds of adultery? I feel compelled to drag the AP to court so that the AP doesn't get off scott free. There won't be any monetary claims against the AP, but at least I can inconvenience her some small bit. (By "her" I mean the AP, not my wife)
M 16 T 17 W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14 ILYBNIL 5/14 A discovered 6/14 D papers served via USPS 8/14 Filed my response 9/14 D final 5/15...
That would be a question for your attorney. Not sure what you'd be hoping to accomplish.
I'm all for defending your interests, but unless there were some civil or criminal penalty that your attorney felt had a reasonable chance of happening here, I don't see the point.
I just want to make the AP uncomfortable to put more pressure on the A. The divorce will put pressure on the A, but I would like for the A to end before the D is final so that there is a chance for reconciliation without going through with the D.
M 16 T 17 W moved in w/ AP (OW) 5/14 ILYBNIL 5/14 A discovered 6/14 D papers served via USPS 8/14 Filed my response 9/14 D final 5/15...
My question is whether anyone here has the experience of a wayward wife filing for divorce then approaching you during the process to ask whether reconciliation is possible.