Putting my life back together

[NewLeaf]

I don't feel relieved, I feel horrible. I know I will feel relieved at some point, but right now it's just empty and sad. Talking to friends and family tonight and getting some support.

[Zimmy]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope you realize that her behavior is totally irrational and confused. She definitely hadn't made up her mind about anything, and is very confused.

She is emotionally sick right now. Don't let her drive you crazy - it's not about you. I promise.

I am in the same situation btw, so I understand everything you are going through. My fiancé also said that he was trying to find feelings for me again, but that is impossible with an OP sucking away all their emotional energy.

[NewLeaf]

Thanks Zimmy and 1foot2, so appreciate the support tonight.

[Zimmy]

Hang in there. I firmly believe she will miss you someday. Just continue to be amazing and focus on your self worth. She is a mess right now, but when she sees what she lost down the road, it will hit her.

Where are you doing your MBA?

[1foot2]

I know you don't feel relieved. I'm sorry. I prob wouldn't either. Just looking for a silver lining. Have you had extended time apart since BD?

[NewLeaf]

Hey I totally appreciate that. As far as time apart, we haven't really. I think the space will be helpful.

[1foot2]

Yup, be as new a man as you can when you next see her, and have some hope (maybe the wrong word) that several days without you reminds her of the intangibles that she is leaving behind.

That's what I struggle with in the in-home separation. It's hard to enact those changes from day to day. I wake up in the morning and immediately get on my guard, and get discouraged if I make the slightest "old move" before I've had a chance to check myself (or make coffee).

Try to see this as your extended incubation period.

[NewLeaf]

Thanks, I guess that's all I can do at this point, focus on me.

Zimmy, going to Babson

[jim0987]

In house seperation is hard. Everyday I see my beautiful W and feel the distance between us so much more acutely.

Some time away might be good if for no reason other than you have some space to process with trying to analyse how its being seen.

[Ahoy]

NewLeaf -- They don't have a chance to miss you until they are away. I can tell you that in my case, the separation has been a good thing. I don't have to try to live with someone who is in emotional turmoil and lashing out at me verbally with crazy pronouncements of revisionist history. It is much more peaceful (and clean) in my home. I do not miss living with H. Having space might give you some perspective on the relationship as well. It definitely helps with detaching. Best of luck!