So I did something last night that some may disagree with. H and I ML. Yes, I am taking a chance given I have had some anxieties about he and OW. But, I have zero evidence and at this point he’s not showing any signals whatsoever that’s the case. With our interactions of late --- especially him finally talking to me about OW being in the office, and inviting me to lunch and a work function --- I am just not sensing at all that he’s still involved with OW. So we basically started sexting last night (which is a 180 for me, we have not done something like that for YEARS!) and then I invited him over for some booty. Afterwards we cuddled and chatted and for the first time in a long time he told me he loves me. Then I kicked him out so I could get some sleep, lol!
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
When we were dating we used to leave work at our lunch hour to meet and ML.
We met at the house during lunch hour today.
Obviously I've re-attracted him. We had a very strong sexual chemistry when we first got together 10+ years ago so it's no surprise that is, in part, pulling us together again.
I wonder if now would be a good time to toss the idea of Retrouvaille out there?
Also, what are the potential landmines? I feel like we've got some sort of hot honeymoon thing going on that I need to be prepared for ending and how to handle..
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
H and I are in such an odd place. I think we’re stuck in something like pre-piecing. He calls and talks to me and makes plans with me as if we are together. But yet we’re still physically separated, doesn't talk about moving home or MCing. Honestly, I suspect he truly does NOT know what to do to make this better and/or wonders if I truly will ever be ok with what he did. I want to push but I suppose I will continue to STFU, at least for a little while. Although now that I think about it, I’m not so sure how well STFU has worked for me. Part of me feels like it just enables his avoidance (which is a huge issue for him, pre-A and in many aspects of his life, not just with me).
It feels like this shouldn’t be so complicated
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
At a minimum I would like MC or at least to hear a plan towards that. And then I would hope in MCing we would discuss a plan for him coming home. If he needs some time for ICing I think that's ok. But it's the not knowing WTH we are doing that drives me bannanas.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
Just my 2 cents, but I don't think it hurts to bring up MC. Do you think he'd agree to it? You mentioned earlier that you didn't think he knew what to do to make things better. Maybe he's waiting for you to bring it up?
Hey sweetie! Sorry to have been MIA for a while...as you probably saw in my thread that I had stuff to deal with during this week.
Originally Posted By: mdu
H and I are in such an odd place. I think we’re stuck in something like pre-piecing. He calls and talks to me and makes plans with me as if we are together. But yet we’re still physically separated, doesn't talk about moving home or MCing.
Sigh
I see that you're wanting to yank the fishing pole again. That is all because of your anxiety about the "outcome" of this situation. Remember...just trust the process and enjoy dating your new boyfriend.
Come on. Enjoy it. Don't put a deadline on this. I can tell you that H is ATTRACTED TO THE NEW YOU and is behaving like a squirrel who's starting to eat out of your hand.
What happens when you make a sudden move??
There's your answer, MDU.
Although now that I think about it, I’m not so sure how well STFU has worked for me.
Wha...what? Are you kidding me, right? You and H made love!!!!! Not once...but twice. I'd say that your STFU juice is working really well.
H is not avoiding you. He's watching you very carefully to see if this is the new, improved MDU who won't go back to her old "yelling fish-wife" ways. He is that scared squirrel who is acting pretty tentative...for a good reason! Right?
Focus, focus.
You can to this, baby!!! Don't take your eye off the prize: Your handsome H and a reconciled M.
Now time to go back to the kitchen and try out a new recipe for H.
M: 42 H: 43 M: 8 years S7 and D4 H has D19 and S25 from previous M Bomb: 3/6/14 OW discovered, EA & PA 1st separation, 10 days, decided to reconcile & moved back in. Fail 2nd separation: 5/1/14
