I have been separated 1 month. My wife took her rings off on my D-Day she moved out. We have been spending some time together and this past Sunday night she put her rings on. She told me she wore them because they are pretty and she doesn't get to wear them each day as she used to. Is this a good sign? I have been using the techniques I am learning in Divorce Remedy and I was hoping that just maybe the rings were a sign that maybe through my small changes there was something happening on her end. Joe
Had dinner with her last night at her place. I excused myself early and it caught her by surprise. I went to give her a quick hug goodbye and I have been kissing her on the cheek, but, she turned and kissed my on my lips. Joe
I have realized some of the small changes I am making in my life are going to be good for me regardless of a reconciliation happens or not. My W was disappointed in my not at least trying Sushi or getting certified as a PADI Open Water Diver. I took her to dinner for her birthday a week and a half after she left and I ate sushi and even used the chopsticks. I also enrolled in a diving class and complete my certification this upcoming weekend. I attempted these changes prior to receiving Divorce Remedy which completely blew me away after realizing just how in tune to the divorce process Michelle really is. I have my fingers crossed that my WAW realizes that our marriage is worth saving.
PS: Come to find out I actually love sushi now. My closed/narrow-mindedness kept me from ever trying it. My quote was always "God invented fire to cook our food". I also have loved the scuba classes. My anxiety level about the sport has gone way down with the training I have received. My W actually was very mad that now I decide to start diving. But, she relaxed a bit last night and gave me a few tips.
Hello there fellow Joe. Don't show her the book unless she's asking about resources to make things better. The book is for you. OK, you seem to be off to a good start. Already began a couple of 180s that she noticed. What are her other complaints? How can you 180 to address those?
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
When D-Day arrived it could not have been closer to the WAW Syndrome that Michelle wrote about. Her big complaint is that we were not connected emotionally. While I was speaking to her the other day she asked me who I had been talking to. I told her I was educating myself on how to make myself a better partner. I shared a few things with her and while I was with her over the weekend she caught her Italian way of conversing come up a few times and she apologized to me. I asked her why and she said she wanted to learn to speak nicer to me. I also shared with her how we became what she called emotionally disconnected. I quoted WAW Syndromes points about complaining and the man seeing it as nagging so I must have withdrawn. I told her that in the last month and a half I thought we were great but yet she had already planned an escape to her old home that we had rented out. She purchased some furnishings from the renters who were having a garage sale without my knowledge. So when she told me she was leaving she pretty much had a completely furnished home ready and waiting for her. I took a weeks vacation to help her move and we stayed at our home and in our bed until the move was complete. We are still in a physical relationship as well.
I almost forgot about one of the bigger reasons that we realized caused our emotional disconnect. From what she tells me I snore to the point that she has difficulty sleeping. So after hearing John Tesh on a radio say that partners sleeping in separate beds can actually strengthen a relationship, I moved to the spare bedroom. Well after it was seemingly to late. We realized that is something that was to be blamed for the disconnect. What should have been done rather than listening to John Tesh was, I should have went to the Dr to determine if I had a sleeping disorder and whether or not something could be done about it. I have sought the help I need and am scheduled for a sleep study to determine if I have some form of sleep apnea.
