Good advice everyone. My wife had announced a few weeks ago our separation on Facebook to all our "friends". She was very cryptic on how she justified her decision. Anyway, I think a healthy distance is smart and any contact online should be positive, just as it should be in person. Maybe I'll have my FB profile put his suit back on. ;-)
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
Don't post any of those "inspirational" posts. Especially if they can be construed as pro staying married. She'll see right through that and it'll push her more.
I'd say to either go FB dark (just read, no posting or commenting/liking) or just unfollow her and only post things that involve the kids. Not a bad time to break the FB addiction.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
I will tell you FB was killing me. I had a chance to really make some progress ... took WAW up north for her birthday, she had a great time, posted pics on FB, I seen them, then noticed OM comment on one of the pics that I took ... I flipped out .. major backslide. She blocked me right after... I still can access her page .. but it stung knowing OM still has access to her like that and I don't.
My advice .. if I could do it all over ... go dark on FB, there is nothing good that can come out of it for you right now ... it makes you chase and pursue them, does not allow you to detach... sure you could post some GAL stuff but that will look staged and forced ... just go dark and get her thinking/guessing would be my advice
I have taken Ggrass's approach. I try not to look at W FB (although sometimes I do catch myself sneaking a peek) and I only post on mine things that are positive. Trips with my friends, my attempts at cooking, things about sports teams, etc. Looking at my page, you'd think nothing was wrong, I'm just living my life. No whiny or sad posts. No quotes, no motivational phases or inspirationals.
One word of caution I think with this though, is to not go overboard. Don't overshare, because then it may look like you are trying to hard.
My advice would be to not look at spouse's page, and either don't post or only post a few things that show you are getting on with your life and doing well.
Me: 28 W: 28 Together: 9.5 years Married: 4 years Bomb dropped and W moved out: 6/15/14
Tough day today; however, I'm thankful for four in a row that were nice. I had to change the pick up schedule of our kids this week because of a meeting at work. My wife and I could not work out the simple change via text in the schedule and it turned into a bad situation with us getting confused on pick/up drop off this morning. She decided it's easier to just cut out all of my help this week (including evenings at the pool with kids) rather than be able to flexible on the one day. I think she's being darn right hateful and acting mean and I know our kids are going to be disappointed. What to say to them? I've decided to just tell them if they ask it did not work out tonight rather than blame her. The kids therapist says that we should just tell them just the WHAT (e.g. no pool) and NOT necessarily the WHY (e.g. mommy said no) for their sake. I think that's smart.
In other news, I think I'm going to start some chainsaw art projects. I built a really neat bench once out of some fallen trees, and I have others that need to come down also. The weather is starting to turn a bit cooler, and chainsaws like that. :-)
Me:40 W:39 M:Dec 95 Split: Jul 14 W Filed: 9/16/14 Several Children (including adopted)
You're a great dad for taking care of your children. My H doesn't really contribute besides paying for half the daycare, then i take care of the baby after work, which I don't mind but I expect him to initiate helping me. From experience, being a sahm is exhausting, and I have one child only. It seems like the separation is helping both of you figure out the relationship and yourself. I hope she feels less overwhelmed soon and things improve even more.
Me:27 H:26 T:3 M:1.5 D 6 months D bomb: 6/21/14 I Moved out 9/7/14
easy peasy