Hey guys Dawgy here . Man what a roller coaster im on . WOW is all I can say . Im wondering about DBing in different sitches could mean DBing in different levels . For example my wife may respond to a bit of detachment , where alot might not work and then Say another guys wife needs total detachment . i know this sounds messed up but i guess what im talking about is customized DBing . What may work for one couple may be too aggresive for another
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
I think that makes quite a bit of sense given that everyone has their own personalities and traits. Problem is, if we understood ourselves well and our spouses well we probably wouldn't be here, so seeking the council and advice of others and kicking things around also is good sense.
Me: 40 W: 40 22 Years together, 14 Married D8 + D7 Aug 2012 - Separated Sep / Oct - Back Together May 2014 - WAW / Divorce Bomb / Separation Jun/Jul - Suspected Other man / Confirmed Now - WAW moving out
Dawgy, the Rules at the top of the Newcomers thread are just a guide. At the end of the day it's about doing what works. There's a lady on the Infidelity thread who has found that her husband responds to a little pursuit. Mine, however, does not. The rules are there to get you to break the negative cycle you find yourself in and to give you a base from which you can experiment to see what works and doesn't work.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014
Barrybran, You stated this well. We have to remember, the goal is to stop going down cheeseless tunnels. Some of the rules may already be tunnels we've gone down.
Me: 34 W:33 T: 10 M: 6 S: 6 D: 5 BD: 5/14 Still together(ish) Not giving up: 7/14 D talk has slowed, a lot. Gradually working on things together. Still separate bedrooms. Slow and Steady wins the race.
So the detachment thing is making me feel somewhat better . I still really miss her though and its tearing my heart out but Im still pushing ahead . I met a new friend and shes been through the wringer herself and shes given me some good advice however shes being too nice and im attracted to her . I feel like im cheating but we are only talking .Talking to her has helped me realize that i will be alright if me and W reconcile . I dont like that feeling because Idont feel like i need her anymore . I feel i can replace her , and I dont like that feeling . I want to feel like she is it , the one and only . Thats the feeling i used to have and I want it back
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
Dawgy, I feel like you are often on the verge of your own EAs. IMO focus on yourself without trying to find a replacement if you really want to try. I know GAL means finding friends and support for some people, but it seems like you walk a fine line.
I understand the need for companionship and an ear to listen to you though.
Me-45 W-44 S21, S18, D15 T-27, M-21 BD Jan 2014 PA revealed March 2014 In-house separation - April 2015 I filed - Aug 2015 She moved out Oct 2015
yes I am walking a fine line and i dont know how to handle it . Its like Im giving off a signal that im single and looking but Im not . Im just being pleasant a talkative with both sexes but several women have offered alot more . Its like i cant talk to women without them thinking i want something other than friendship . Geez and they go on about men only after one thing .
Me 45 W 45 Son 16 Son 14 Married 23 together 27 W threatened sep several times W still at home A discovered Mar 17 2014 A ended DEC 2 ( skeptical )
