Hi Georgia, So sorry it had to come to this. Like Shining says, someday H will probably wish he hadn't lost you from his life. It's so sad that they take so long to bake that they can't see the truth in time. Like a drowning victim that takes the person that is trying to save them under with them, the MLCer can easily take us down with them as well. Sometimes, we just have to let go and hope they can save themselves. You have to think of your kids as well as yourself. They need a stable parent in their life. I am at a similar place although my W was the one to file. I need to decide whether I will give my W a chance to show she is capable of taking care of our D14, that she is willing and able to think not only of what SHE wants but what is best for our D. So hard when we still see the person they used to be. When we know that somewhere inside is that old person, the one we loved for so long. Funny how the kids say you and your H are different because that's exactly what I get. We didn't fight. Neither of us were mean. For 90% of our M we were loving and cared deeply for each other and the kids could see that. Everyone that they know who have been through a D talk about how their parents fought, how they drank or lied or cheated over and over. They see us and think why?
Stay strong. Help the kids and let them help you. We're all praying for you. You'll get through this and come out a better, stronger person!
I've been away from here for awhile but decided to check in to see how you and everyone else are doing. I'm sorry to hear that you've filed but after reading through some of your more recent threads, I also see how necessary it is.
It's a hard decision and each individual has to decide when it's time to take action that assures us and our children a secure financial future. Take care of yourself! You have a great attitude, a wonderful sense of humor and a good head on your shoulders.
Me:57H:62 M:34T:35 2S,2D (grown nlah) BD:09/2012 visits M ow EA/PA?:10/2012 H moves out 06/2013
"Do not let the behavior of others destroy your inner peace." -Dalai Lama
Sorry to hear you came to this decision, but I understand.
Only you know when enough is enough, and you've fought the good fight.
Hang in there and keep hanging here with us--we really need your sense of humor and insight.
Besides, your story is still being written and we want to see how it ends.
I know it will be an interesting read!
Hang in there,
---GGG
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
You've handled yourself with such grace, humor and humility that we totally understand your decision to file for D after DBing your peach-fuzz butt off. Sorry that Peter Pan is still stuck on the Lost Island. Hey...I wasn't H's tour guide there!
Georgia, You may want to think about a new thread as your current thread may lock fairly soon.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks so much for your kind thoughts. I am literally floored by the support on this board and feel so fortunate to have found this site. While sad, please know I don't feel defeated or devastated at this point. It's a necessary business transaction and I just want to secure my financial future along with the children. Marriage is about love and commitment while D has a vs on the paperwork for a reason. That doesn't sound very romantic or sexy, does it???
My h is on some trip that I've never seen offered in the showcase on "The Price is Right." The incessant lying. The straight up weirdness. The 180 of who he was. He was a vegetarian for about 14 years and has declared himself a carnivore. I'm happy he finally has a job, and I readily admit that I get annoyed by some of the financial texts as you can tell that I was the primary financial contributor for the vast majority of our m. H:" do you mean I have to pay this one top of what I already pay per month ?" Old GB would say " yes, a$$hat. Welcome to adulthood." The forever reformed GB who has learned so much about not reacting and responding simply says, "Yes. Have a good night." Seriously. I am so appreciative of the tools DBing provides. I use them at work, with family, friends, etc.
I doubt my h will ever regret losing me and that's his decision. While I made mistakes , I certainly know that I did many good things in the m as well. There are some behaviors I won't repeat. D9 did not go to her dad 's today (only the boys) and she peppered me with many questions about her dad, religion, love- you name it. All of a sudden she said, " mommy, one day Daddy is gonna wake up from his weirdness (yes- her words) and say *what happened?* I told her I didn't know and reminded her that yes her dad is going through something and he loves her very much. Just like he always has. Honestly, there isn't much to say after that. And gosh darnit, isn't she insightful ?
You guys will not vote me off DB island. I will not allow it. Staying on the high road- even though I feel like the road occasionally gets flooded and there is the occasional rock slide and all 4 tires blow out from time to time. I kid. It really is the only way for me.
And as Job always says , the answers come will come. Gotta start a new thread:)
Last edited by Georgiabelle; 08/17/1410:09 PM.
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
