"I don't think I am strong enough to detach and not feel any love from my W. "
That part is up to you. The love you have should come from YOU and not from your W. If you want to give up after a month, then that's up to you. The ones that survived go on for loner than that.
Your saying that you're not strong enough to detach is because you rely on your W for your happiness. Is that how things were before you met her? Did you always have to have someone there to make you happy? If so, then you're going to always be unhappy because it's no one's sole job to make another person happy.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
I sure do thank God this site is here.. I know I would not be able to handle it at all without all you. I will try harder to GAL and do it for me.. Tonight W wants to talk about her DB Coaching session last night and work on some things. I will fill you all in after we talk.. Thanks again.
I agree with Sandi,That is a major thing if she is talking to a DB coach. DON'T GIVE UP!!
I have asked my W to speak with my DB coach and she said she would after we are D.
I call my coach a "life coach" when I asked my W to call. If my W was willing to talk with her, I feel things would be better between us even if we don't R and maybe it would help my W seek IC.
That is a very positive sign IMHO
Hang in there!!
Me 47/W 34 T 16 M 13 No kids BD 6/2013 W asked that I move out 6/2013 I moved back and W is upset with this 12/2013 separate beds not much talking Served D Complaint 5/2014 W moved out 9/27/2014
Well I'm not giving up.. Guess I really had a bad night the other night. First I don't agree with Bond that love only comes from yourself.. Maybe I am missing what you mean. I am actually very happy who I am but I want to be married as well.. and want my wife's love. I followed the rules as well as I could and after talking to coach and W talking to coach, we have made huge strides in R. I have partially dropped detachment and we dated a few times, but when I told my W the other night that I love her (I know not true DB) she said it was exactly what she needed to hear.. She cried in my arms for over an hour and we went to bed and I held her till she fell asleep. We talked again about having fun and book she is reading, and are very excited to meet with Michelle in two weeks out in Colorado.. Stay tuned..
Well follow Michele's advice. Meeting and talking in person is better than trying to communicate over a forum for some people. I wish you both the best.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Been a really good week. W and I are getting along really well, talking, cuddling and just being there for each other. We had two small arguments start, but stopped hem cold and said to each other we need to communicate better and talk lovingly.. When we did this, we took time to see each other's view and worked on our communication skills ... Things are really looking up. We fly to Colorado this Wednesday to meet with Michelle for a two day intense session. I'll keep you all posted, and thanks for the support
