I have seen this mentioned often and had some thoughts and views of my own...
I believe most anything can be taken to an extreme... For example an easy going person can actually go so far in that extreme that deadlines and responsibilities aren't a big deal.. However a disciplined person can end up being so structured they can't even go on a vacation without having every second planned to the minute...
That is what I also see with the mind reading comments to various posters caught in despair....
Couldn't telling someone they are mind reading also be called mind reading?
If your spouse is out until 4:00 a.m., and losing weight, taking "trips to visit old friends" and acting like they don't want much to do with you... I don't think it is mind reading to question whether they are having an affair...
Maybe it really isn't mind reading at all... Maybe it is your GUT telling you something. I am sure many of you can relate when I mention "gut".. Your gut is telling you something...
Then you are told you are mind reading. You then tell yourself, "yes I am mind reading and I shouldn't do that."
You then feel a sense of relief believing that if you are mind reading that this means they aren't having an affair. (or whatever the mind reading subject is)
However, just because you say you aren't mind reading doesn't actually mean they are not having an affair. Sometimes we are hoping they aren't doing what we think our mind (gut? intuition?) reading is telling us they ARE doing. This could be just another way to say that when someone says we are mind reading we are hoping that means that we are wrong in the mind reading (or is it your gut telling you something?).......
But what about that "gut" feeling.. That feeling that deep down you know that you know, but you are having a hard time admitting that you know? How many times have we told ourselves "I should have followed my gut feeling?"
I believe that sometimes mind reading can also be quite useful and a good part of a relationship...
Do I ask my spouse what they want for their Birthday? What if they are the type of spouse that feels like.."if I have to tell you what to do, then it isn't the same"..
It seems that mind reading in this case would be a benefit.. If I get my spouse a gift that I believe they would like and cherish and they didn't have to tell me or give me a hint, then I think that is GOOD for a relationship.
If my spouse comes home in a bad mood and they aren't the type that wants to "chat" when in a bad mood... Isn't it wise to learn how to "read" their moods?.. Yes, we could be wrong and think the mood is because of work, or because of their being tired or whatever, when actually they are just a grouch .. But isn't the main thing that you sometimes MUST take a gamble that mind reading is the CORRECT thing in some instances.....?????
Now, if I make plans to take a trip and don't discuss it with my spouse and then tell myself that I know they want to go to Mexico on September 12th because they once told me they want to go to Mexico someday... I think that would border on the extreme of taking it too far....
So, I say that we need to be wary of just accepting that when someone says we are mind reading that it is a negative and that just because they tell us that we just accept it.Again, isn't it mind reading to tell someone they are mind reading?
I think we should take their comment into consideration.... Ask yourself? Am I mind reading or is my "gut" telling me something to get my mind and heart in sync?.. What is my gut telling me? Deep down..
Most anything can be taken to an extreme. I believe that sometimes "mind reading" can be a good thing. It can also be a bad thing. It can also be that we are NOT mind reading, but that our gut is talking to us deep within....
You misunderstand what mind reading is. Mindreading is saying that you "know" why or what motivations a person has to do a certain action. The only person that knows why they do or don't do something is that individual. Not an outsider.
Many marriages fail because one spouse assumes (mindreads) that the other knows what they expect and then get angry when they don't behave or act in a way that THEY expect.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
BTW, I notice you never responded to my post that called you out. Ironic how it seems that you are the one who never posted anything about your situation at all.
"JCred,
First off, don't call someone out whom you don't know. Second, don't do it on someone else's thread. If you want to know my story, ask me yourself and don't be a punk about it. Third, if you bother to read my thread, you'll see that I have told my story many times to others on their threads. I was helping so many people that I spent more time on their posts than my own.
And fourth. I notice you don't have your own story up which leads me to believe that you can't handle the truth about yourself unlike many of the brave men and women here who are willing and open to get help. Or you are a previous poster who is too afraid to ask me himself about my story.
My apologies Ben2010. Back to your story."
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Sorry - somehow this post reminded me of the battle of wits from the Princess Bride. "You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work..."
Sorry - somehow this post reminded me of the battle of wits from the Princess Bride. "You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work..."
"Sorry - somehow this post reminded me of the battle of wits from the Princess Bride. "You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work...""
Not really the same. I just don't like it when someone comes on here and calls me a fake who has never been on here that long.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
.. But isn't the main thing that you sometimes MUST take a gamble that mind reading is the CORRECT thing in some instances.....?????
Very good. Thank you.
