Small update: dance teacher came by and said he had heard W and I are getting divorced. We then proceeded to have a discussion, during which his advice was to "find the lion" in me (i.e. react, get angry, push back).
He had heard this via a realtor friend, with whom I plan to talk and ask him to stop broadcasting this.
House facade is being renovated, so I need to hang around until this is finished, delaying my trip to the US. It turns out we live in a Lincoln log construction!
Just had a good talk with realtor, overcoming a bit of internal resistance in doing so. He is himself divorced, so we had a sympathetic conversation, also about him. I think I'll invite him out for a beer next week, perhaps even with the dance teacher.
House facade is renovated, 6 weeks of noise and living in a plastic goldfish bowl. W and d16 spend the weekdays in their small 1 bedroom Stockholm apartment, home on the weekends. I see d16 midweek for dinner.
Two interesting chunks:
1. dance teacher (who knows about D) told me that W cannot take criticism and makes excuses if it happens. 2. now that I am offshore W is more friendly - have received three (while not warm, at least longer than they need to be, and she still doesn't address me by name) notes (even a physical one) from her. Not sure how to reply and what, if anything, these and their tone mean.
I am slated to help out at EE again, which I am looking forward to, a most valuable activity.
Luke
M58, xW54 S22, D18 M 1984, D 2016 Living a new life.
Hi there, Luke! It's been a while since we last heard from you.
I hope you enjoyed your US trip!
You wrote:
Originally Posted By: LuckyLuke
I am slated to help out at EE again, which I am looking forward to, a most valuable activity.
I am completely confused by ^^ statement. You say that you are helping out at EE, right? And yet you are not applying the EE principles yourself in your interactions with your W and children.
No, to some extent, I am, such as using more direct statements and telling the kids how much I care for them (which led to a good talk with d16, for example).
Is there a specific instance of non-application you have in mind?
Hey Luke I came back to see how you were doing..life here is tough.. he is distant and unfriendly..still accuses me of pushing him when I am lucky to have any interaction in 3 weeks.. currently in Denmark.., its windy here.. are you still running?
there is great 10 k on the Baldeney See south of Essen 22nd November..apparently guarantees a best time.. I have moved nrw is pretty miserable but found a great running group..new school is tough. ? He is 30 minutes away and has visited twice..did nought to help,.. hope life is better for you..you have been a great support