I have a couple of questions about the kids in the doing 180 situation, my H and I share 50/50 time with our boys and as he works full time and I only work part time, on days when the boys aren't at daycare and he is working, I've been having the boys at his place, to save money and it also gives me extra time with them, since I'm attempting 180s do I now tell him that when he has them and he's working he has to find someone else to watch them? Also we share out car as his work car doesn't fit the boys in, should he be getting his own car? I'm going on the fact that he said I have to let him go, so is it fair to keep ding all these things for him, do I now let him do everything completely on his own, because that what it would seem to me, if you truly want your independence, then he shouldn't rely on me at all, sorry a bit long winded lol
I got good advice from a former WAS...and ive read here on the success stories...once they truly taste what being independent is, that's when things change. I would say tell him that although you love your kids dearly, that you cant be watching them during his time, tell him you have a life to live. and yes he needs to get his own car, he is a dad he must adjust to the situation he created and stop cake eating...hopefully a vet will chime in..im just a newbie....
Me: 42 W: 39 D: 2 age 6 and 9 D-Day: Dec 29 13 Seperated: 3/20/14 Mediation retainer : 5/20/14 She filed: 06/25/14
hmmm...tough question about the kids. Are you willing to give up that time with them? In my opinion, this shouldn't be about you or him, it should be about the kids and what is in there best interest. Maybe have them bring the kids to you instead of watching them at his place. Not sure what the answer is, what feels right?
Me-44 (45) H- 50 (51) M-'96
S-18(20)D-15(17)D-12(14)
BD Feb 2014 (he works overseas) home Oct(sep rooms) (EAs possible Pa's unconfirmed) insists wants D through July 2015 no more talk of D since
That's what I think too oad, as much as it pains me, because I hate saying no to h, I know that's what I have to do, he just rang up before to tell me he's got next wed off work to take the twins out for their 3rd b day, I'd told him last week that I would be spending the day with them, must say I'm surprised he's actually taking the day off, and then he started 5 ask how my day was going, I just said good, busy and tried to politely end the call and he wanted to keep talking??!!
I know it would be hard for me to give up time with kids. I think that is one "rule" I would have to break. I know for me the worst part of this separation is time away from kids.
Lost 18 it's really hard because you're right I don't want to give up time with the boys,but if he's just going to bring them to my place, I may as well have them all the time, or at least 80% of the time, and I certainly don't want to do that to him or the boys, they adore him and vice versa
