I read that book and watched the movie. But I can't recommend it working with a WAW in an A. It is very pursuing, and pursuit will not work while her heart is closed to you.
You are thinking of doing things that would great.....if the M was healthy. You have to accept the fact that all those sweet little tips you read in how to improve your marriage......just doesn't work on a WAW in an A. It will, however, make things worse.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Corbean, I feel like you somedays. Frustrated to the point that I want to throw in the towel and just tell my husband to hurry up and get the divorce process going. But I love him whole heartedly. Totally blindsided by his? MLC. We have to hang in there and have faith. I have discovered engaged and let him start conversations. Only talk to him when I have to. Trying tobtake care of myself. Let's keep doing that and make us a better person in the end.
Sandi2 so what would be your recomendation with a WAW that I dont know if on an A or not, but has cut all contact completelly for 4 months? Is there any way to aproach that WAW?
When the student its ready, the teacher will appear... Even after all this time the sun never says to the Earth, "You owe me." Look what happens with a love like that,It lights the whole sky.
I need some advice this morning. I realized that I haven't truly let go and have been trying to covertly force her into realizing what she's doing and come home. So I literally have to completely let go of everything.
However, where I'm torn is in regards to the children. Right now she doesn't have a job, is using my car, staying at her parents/OM's house. I know from her sister that he smokes, smokes pot, and drinks pretty heavily. My daughter is special needs and is supposed to have therapy twice a week, but currently isn't getting anything. My wife mentioned me taking her which I said I would absolutely do, but I would have to take the car back and she then says nvm. When I have asked her about a job she says she is looking, but she spends her days with the OM and is going out drinking every night. My son is getting attached to this other guy and that breaks my heart. I talked to her last night about it and she said that she wasn't going to stop because it's just like hanging out with any other friend and they don't do stuff in front of the kids.
I'm torn, I don't know if my motivation is truly 100% about the kids or if it's my felt need for control. I can admit that I've thought if I try to take them and make the conditions that she gets them back be that she have a stable job, a car, her own place, pass a drug test, a reliable baby sitter, and no man can stay after 8PM, then it would force her to start taking responsibility and wake her up from this.
I also have considered that if I wasn't spying so much before I wouldn't know any of this stuff, we wouldn't be at odds and I would simply be being nice and trying to help her. So idk what to do. I never thought that losing my family would hurt this much.
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
And I'm so mad. I just want to call her tell how angry I am that she could do this to me and our marriage. I've poured my entire soul into this marriage and would do anything for her and this is what she does. It makes me so freaking mad.
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
That's what I was thinking too. From a POV that I have to accept that my marriage is over then I have to be a man and take responsibility for my children's well being. It may pass her off and if by some miracle of God she comes to her senses somewhere down the road then she too will realize this is what was best for them.
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
So I need more advice. Just talked to a L and in order to get the kids back here I will have to file for Divorce to get the order in. This will either force her to come back to our local area and live with the kids or give up custody to me so she can stay at her parents house with the OM 5 hours away. I plan to offer her the option of just letting me take the kids so she can get on her feet so that I can avoid filing, but I'm sure she will say no. I don't know what to do.
Me-33,W-26 M-4 yrs, T-5 years S- 2 D- 4 (Special needs, undiagnosed) Apr 2014 B date End of April 2014 Moved in with parent's
So I need more advice. Just talked to a L and in order to get the kids back here I will have to file for Divorce to get the order in. This will either force her to come back to our local area and live with the kids or give up custody to me so she can stay at her parents house with the OM 5 hours away. I plan to offer her the option of just letting me take the kids so she can get on her feet so that I can avoid filing, but I'm sure she will say no. I don't know what to do.
You can ask her if you feel that it would be better...
Just don't let it drag out, and don't play games with it...
Don't allow her to use the kids as pawns either...
