Hi Guys, You can go read my other posts to learn my story but my question here is...do WAWS ever realize that they do, in fact, love their husbands too much to be away from them and believe they can restore the "passion" instead of thinking it's gone forever as they usually do when in the "fog." Now this question is predicated on the fact that we both know where we went wrong and what led to the "falling out of love" so my WAW is well aware that if she ever returned things would be different. So my question isn't predicated on a return to the status quo...I mean with the knowledge she has that I am changing and "saw the light"...will she ever want to come back? I know most don't but I read a couple people here who were WAWS and they want their exes back. Thanks!
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Thanks Cadet! Yeah I'm sure it will take a long time but I am just wondering because she speaks with such certainty, as if there is absolutely no hope...as many WAWs do. I guess I wonder, after such a dractic change of feelings like this...how could she POSSIBLY be "in love" with me again? It just doesn't seem possible, thus my question...but you say YES...in capital letter even.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Anything is possible. This DBing has helped me personally grow. I have a WAH and I've rededicated myself to personal growth and God. My first marriage was 9 yrs. and bad. I rebelled against H and God (he thought he was my god) and was the WAW with three boys. After 21 years I remarried and after 6 mths. My new husband (who was my mate for four years) did the WAH from me. Both husbands had EA and PA (I'm sure this one is.) He refuses any C and has a violent temper (which I discovered as soon as we said I do) Talking about rededicating and revising my life. I grew a lot after my first divorce. We had MC for 2 years while (not knowing) he had EA & PA with secretary for 1.5 years. Anyway, we were church goers and what a mess. I became the WAW and was the rebellious child of God, so to speak. This mess I'm in now, brought me back to a closer relationship with God and now I can't even DB with this H, (he filed and should be over in a few months) but learn from all my mistakes. WAW can figure things out. Quite frankly it's too late for my 1st marriage (he remarried a woman that well they have similar issues). You never know how long it'll take, but with lots of reading, praying, and dedication things can turn around.
What about walk away husbands? My husband has said his heart isn't in a place where he thinks he can recover this. Of course he's chasing after a 26 yo in another country as he says this, but can he find his love for me again?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Well, I definitely have a runaway husband. He left without an explanation (irrational and at first looked like a MLC, but not) and I'm sure has several on the string. I'm not sure about finding love for you again. I hope for you and your kids it's possible. My H (which it's not final, but he acts like it is) had a 20 year affair on 1st wife and had mistress for another 7 years, until me and I'm sure was faithful for 3 years or so and then when crazy after his mom died and we married. Always had one waiting while running from another. Is this just a one time thing for your H, or has he been seeing many women you don't know about?
Thanks Cadet! Yeah I'm sure it will take a long time but I am just wondering because she speaks with such certainty, as if there is absolutely no hope...as many WAWs do. I guess I wonder, after such a dractic change of feelings like this...how could she POSSIBLY be "in love" with me again? It just doesn't seem possible, thus my question...but you say YES...in capital letter even.
Think of it this way.
When you got married you were in LOVE. Did you think that would ever change?
It is part of the script to make sure there seems to be NO HOPE. However HOPE is within YOU and something only YOU control. As long as you have LOVE their can be HOPE.
Best to take that LOVE and stick it away in a strong box. Protect it and put the box up on a high shelf in the closet.
Someday maybe you can take the box out dust it off and see whats inside. Right now their is nothing you can do to change her mind. Put the focus on YOU and not her.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
