I'm Just About Ready For The Fork

[AJM]

Maybe it is just anxiety. Or maybe the anxiety is a trigger to get you to face what you haven't finished with yet? Just guessing, Tad. But it seems to me that you will face, even subconsciously, the issues that cause you stress until you are able to resolve them in your own self. I think your mind is trying to do just that for what it's worth. And I think that's a great thing...

Many times we've heard the description of people that have been through trauma saying years later they revisited the same feelings except with a different outcome. A different feeling this time around.

I'm a believer that we keep revisiting feelings (not actions necessarily) until we resolve them. By resolve, I mean accept and embrace.

That, and you see this as a chance to change things. That's enough to cause some anxiety in anyone, right?

The thing is, they already like you. They like you for a reason and they like your work. They've already investigated your work by this point. They are simply trying to figure out if a)you are absolutely the best person for the job (there's somebody else looking as well) and b) if they like you and can work with you.

Let's face it, two things in life are BS - job descriptions and resumes. To figure out which is which, it's best for some to take time and carefully examine the choices they make.

But if they don't see something they like, they don't ask you back for another round.

I think you're doing great, looking at the company etc. I do suggest you continue looking for other jobs. If nothing else, it makes you look like a real catch if they know you're looking for other jobs too. And besides, you are in the job market and should be looking at other options in addition to this one.

I like that you're excited and passionate about this one. Just don't kill yourself getting there, right? I don't want to see you lose your marbles if it falls through for WHATEVER reason. Keep perspective and keep looking in the meantime. This is about YOU and not them.

Can I suggest that you look at your post again and see the part about rejection? About why your mind wants you to see that you're alright even after rejection?

Oh, it may make sense to start thinking about changing your autosignature as well. That seems a reminder you really don't need any more. You got it. You remember. No need to write it down...

(it's the little tweaks that lead to better paths, Tad)

AJ

[Kimmerz]

Hi Tad!
Long time no, not post! You probably don't remember me, but I still come back from time to time to check things out, and help me keep my mind straight in regards to EX.

I wanted to comment about what AJ said in regards of us having to relive old traumas. It sounds like you're working through some things through your dreams. I can identify, because I do the same. However if it's any encouragement to you, I firmly believe when we get to the dream state of working things out, we're at the tail end of healing this! It's like the last round of mental BS over whatever trauma there was.

I recently have had to relieve all that BS from 3 years ago with EX. He ran off to Vegas and finally married the OW. He once again delivered that message to his girls ever so INSENSITIVELY and boy howdy does he have one pissed off teenager on his hands.

When I heard this I went through every emotion I went through 3 years ago, but at an extremely fast pace!

You've got a lot on your plate Tad and it's just stressful. But all you can do is take it one day at a time and one step at a time and get through it.

Good luck with the job interview! Im sure you'll kill it!

[tadpole1025]

Thanks AJ and Kimmerz.

Kimmerz - of course I remember you!

The thing is, they already like you. They like you for a reason and they like your work. They've already investigated your work by this point. They are simply trying to figure out if a)you are absolutely the best person for the job (there's somebody else looking as well) and b) if they like you and can work with you.

Well I sure hope they like me enough to hire me. Getting this job will change a lot of things for me and the boys. I've never prepared for a job interview so much in my life. Yes, I am looking for other jobs too, but man this one would be nice. As I said, it is in my field and I've got the experience....over 23 years in broadcasting.

Can I suggest that you look at your post again and see the part about rejection? About why your mind wants you to see that you're alright even after rejection?

Yeah, that dream I had was pretty intense. Waking up and feeling the relief though was amazing but kind of shocking. I thought it was weird that I actually felt relief.

Oh, it may make sense to start thinking about changing your autosignature as well. That seems a reminder you really don't need any more. You got it. You remember. No need to write it down...

I've thought about this for a while now. Trust me I know the facts and don't need to be reminded, but I kind of like to keep it up for any of the newbies that may stop by my thread. I will give it some more thought.

I wanted to comment about what AJ said in regards of us having to relive old traumas. It sounds like you're working through some things through your dreams. I can identify, because I do the same. However if it's any encouragement to you, I firmly believe when we get to the dream state of working things out, we're at the tail end of healing this! It's like the last round of mental BS over whatever trauma there was.

I hope you are right. The funny thing is, I usually don't remember my dreams. I wake up 95% of the time thinking that I didn't dream at all. When this first started with XW, I would dream the same dream almost every night - that my teeth were falling out. I also have a recurring dream of being in an airplane crash or witnessing one. (I'm scared to death of flying...always have been.) Other than that, I rarely remember my dreams.

When I heard this I went through every emotion I went through 3 years ago, but at an extremely fast pace!

I've experienced some of this as well.

He once again delivered that message to his girls ever so INSENSITIVELY and boy howdy does he have one pissed off teenager on his hands.

I'm sorry. My XW has four grown sons mad at her. Not my problem though right?

Interview is 4 days away.

Tad

[Grace_O]

[/quote]I'm sorry. My XW has four grown sons mad at her. Not my problem though right?[quote]

No, it isn't.

My mantra for years has been that it isn't my responsibility to fix the R my D's have with their Dad. My responsibility, as ever, is not to damage it.

They feel what they feel.

If it was really that important to her, she would find a way to heal it or die trying.

[tadpole1025]

Thank you Grace.

If it was really that important to her, she would find a way to heal it or die trying.

That's the thing that really bothers me though. The "old" XW was such a wonderful mother and the boys meant the world to her. She even told me a few times: "I would never let anything come between me and the boys, not even a man."

Well guess what? She did.

Have to go prepare more for the interview....

Tad

[MrBond]

Seriously? Still talking and venting about the XW? You're not M'd to her any more. Let it go.

What happened to the positives you were supposed to post?

[tadpole1025]

Just responding to Grace is all.

Positives?

Had a good Father's Day with the boys this past Sunday and talked to my dad.

My interview is tomorrow. THAT would be a big positive.

Any last minute advice/tips?

Tad

[Wonka]

Tad,

Glad you had a good Father's Day with your boys. Wonderful!

Here's pep talk for your interview:

-Be calm, cool, and collected
-Tell yourself, "I am worthy and I am valuable to companyname"
-Make eye contact and smile
-Smile when you see the interviewer and offer a nice, firm handshake (not too firm!)
-Focus on what you can OFFER and CONTRIBUTE to the company

You got this!!!! Go and wow 'em buddy!

[job]

Tad,
Good luck tomorrow! You will do great...re-read what Wonka posted and be sure to smile and have a strong handshake!

You've got this!

[MrBond]

Yes. Good luck!