Fasten your seatbelts

[Thornton]

Thank you Claire. What's odd is that her dry drunk tendencies came on so suddenly. Everything was fine and then she quickly started to deteriorate.

I have always been her rock. Always listened to and encouraged her. I dont understand why she would want to throw me away. It's agonizing because I have been through so much with her.

[del101]

Good Luck Thornton

[KdogGS]

I have always been her rock. Always listened to and encouraged her. I dont understand why she would want to throw me away. It's agonizing because I have been through so much with her.

Then let her realize this with some time apart. Continue to be awesome and work on yourself. She's telling you what she needs, respect it and give it to her.

[claire7]

"Always"? But you've only been together for 3.5 years? Are you co-dependent? I would look at this time as a gift-- to work on yourself, too. So that your next relationship (Maybe with her, maybe not) can be healthy and successful.

Hang in there. Working on your self is so tough but so worth it.

[Pluto]

Something else I struggle with is GAL. My fiance and I did everything together, I realize now that we should of had time apart to pursue other interests.

I am a bit introverted so I have a hard time making new friends. I can't believe how alone I feel.

I'm at work and I feel like a zombie. Please tell me this gets easier.

GAL definitely helps. I've been where you were. Try to get some sleep as well, as hard as that feels right now.

Call up some old friends, even just to hang out or grab dinner (appetizers might be all you can manage right now, but eat something).

Time helps, but it can't pass soon enough when you're still shell-shocked.

You CAN do this. You will survive this, hopefully coming out better than when you began.

[Thornton]

Thanks Kdog and Claire.

Yes, I do believe I've developed some codependency. I have an appt with a therapist on Thursday to begin to dissect my issues.

She came and packed her things. I helped her carry her to stuff to her car, asked no questions and pretended she was a neighbor I was doing a favor for.

As she finally walked out the door, she turned and I told her I never had a chance to wish her a Happy Mother's Day. She started crying.

She then said she never meant to break my heart, that she had to work on herself and that she didn't want our issues to turn into an angry breakup.

I feel so gutted right now. This all feels so final. The look in her eye conveyed that we would never see each other again.

Please tell me this isn't the end.

[Pluto]

As she finally walked out the door, she turned and I told her I never had a chance to wish her a Happy Mother's Day. She started crying.

She then said she never meant to break my heart, that she had to work on herself and that she didn't want our issues to turn into an angry breakup.

I feel so gutted right now. This all feels so final. The look in her eye conveyed that we would never see each other again.

Please tell me this isn't the end.

Thornton, best thing you can do for both of you is to give her space and work on yourself. Let her sort her stuff out, sounds like there's still love in there, but she needs time and space.

Use both wisely, and to your advantage.

[Thornton]

I'm so confused. Last week, planning our wedding, looking at rings. This week, it's over.

Is it even possible for someone to turn their feelings off so quickly?

My mind is so scrambled...

[FindingPatience]

This isn't the end. It isn't the end until you say it is.

If you can manage to stay calm and detached, her attitude just might change. The trick is not jumping into expectation the first time you sense it.

Go do things that make you happy!

[Thornton]

Thanks Finding. I need to snap out of this fear based thinking. My sitch is only a few days old so I need to pamper myself a little bit and let these feelings ride out. NOT EASY AT ALL!