So sorry, Accuray. I think whats important for all of us, regardless of the outcome, is that we act in such a way that we can be proud of ourselves. Best of luck to you.
"In a ham and eggs breakfast, the hen is involved, but the pig is committed".
Am very sorry Accuray for you and your family. I can onl agree with the others though, I think you have a lot to be proud of and you will start a new chapter of happiness.
TPS Me: 44 H: 42 M14 T17 S10 D7 10/10 H moves out after death of his father-same month 21/04/12 H is 'DONE' 04/05/12 OW/PA confirmed (rumors from 2010) July '14 H ends affair May '15 H moves back home
“Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself to become a new person.” ― Gerard Way
I love that quote, Mach, and it reminded me of this song that has gotten me thru some pretty rough spots. Maybe you can get something out of it, Acc -- peace, bro!
Its been a couple of years since my blow up with the wife, I'm doing well and in a much better place now, thanks for all the advice. I followed all your threads and couldn't figure out why you stayed in the relationship. Good luck on the next one.
Shaky
M 42 W 41 S 10 D 7 M 15 Years T 20 Years Divorce busted
I am really saddened to read this. However, I've been where you are. The difference was my former wife was not willing to put her affair on hold and I think it was as important to the OM to get as fully in her life, just so she wouldn't necessarily look back or want to reconcile.
Today is my ex-wife's birthday and it was 30 years ago, today, that I discovered her affair. It was just a few days later that I revealed my awareness of it (the word "confronted" seems a little too incorrect, because the lack of confrontation actually allowed the exposure of just how serious and difficult this was going to become).
I empathize with you for your handling of fatherhood in the face of all of this. I say that I became a better father because of the experience because it shook me to my core and had me rearrange my priorities in life. Of course, I thought it would have been better had I/we been able to go through that discovery together, but that was never in the cards.
I believe that you will come out okay on the other side of all of this. The fact that your sense is that you gave it your all and that you didn't hold back will serve you well. But be mindful of this...that knowledge that even giving all you can give might not be enough for another person can also make it easier for you to walkaway. You can develop a sense of this: "if giving all that I can makes no difference, then why bother?"
That won't show up in your relationship with your children in all likelihood. But it may turn up in future relationships. Sometimes nothing we do makes any difference and that tends to run counter to what we've believed for most of our lives.
I wish you good sailing and calm waters in your future. There will be tough times, you can count on that. And there is "the other side" to be reached and you have the tools to accomplish that.
Your friend, The Captain
Last sex: 04/06/1997 Last attempt: 11/11/1997 W Issues "No Means No" Declaration: 11/11/1997 W chooses to terminate sex 05/1998 I gained 60, then lost 85 pounds. Start running again (marathons)
Acc, I haven't been on here for a while and just noticed your post. I'm so sorry, I'm sick about this for you! Of all the things that could have happened! I could have understood if you had bailed because you needed something more authentic, or even if she had said she just couldn't do it anymore. But to do to you the same thing she did before???!! It makes my stomach ache!
I know it may not be any consolation to you right now, but you're a catch. You'll do well in your future, I have no doubt! You're in my thoughts and I'm hoping the absolute best for you.
I'm so sorry Acc. Why do some people often take for granted the very things that deserve our gratitude the most. I still remember all the advice and support you gave with my sitch 6month ago. You are a good example of a good man! You deserve a woman that will respect and be 100% committed to her marriage and family. Your kids will be lucky to have you man.
