I am father(41) of five two boys 9,8 triplet girls 5 in July! Wife(34) has been having emotional/physical affair since October. Have read divorce busting and tried most techniques with no real results. At our lowest point now outed her affair with my sons ex baseball coach who was just divorced in January an has 3 young kids of his own. She now openly admits to me and tried to hurt me with admissions. Quotes me the law and says I cannot stop her and cannot kick her out. Since KY is a no fault state if I file infidelity would not be a major factor in custody. So pay to pay her not a good option. Plus much worse financial situation with 5 kids. She thinks she is in love with him and no feelings for me. Counseling did not work as she was not willing to try. Unsure where to go from here. Same house five kids no options
Hey, Dad2fiv. Sorry for your situation. Can you give any more details to your R leading up to BD? If you haven't already, get the Divorce Remedy book. Most of the points talked about on the site come from language used in the book. In the meantime, work on yourself. You can only control you.
M: 43 W: 43 Married 6 yrs. T: 7 yrs. Son 20, 18, 17, 15 yrs. (w/ Autism), 12, 10
Unsure wha else to say thought we were perfect couple with rare spats made up and moved on. She held on to all and kept inside but on night she flipped the switch she stated all the did not love you, neglected me, never helped out with kids or house etc. Most of which not true but could have done more of all. To me girls started preschool she had nothing to spend time on and I was struggling to pay bills so disconnected from her to keep burden from her. Big mistake...made her vulnerable and sons baseball coach started giving her attention claimed his wife cheated on him and was bringing his kids to practice she started helping out and emotional affair began then physical in nov 13 I suspected and confronted from start but was never given a chance to correct our marital flaws. Have held true and showed love for her throughout but not pursued her as book advised. Lost 50 lbs since October and working out. But with 5 kids not much time. Latest news is she filed for divorce so out of time to snap her out of it almost. The person of the last six moths is nothing of my wife..no family or friends just the OM and addictive affair and mean hateful things !!
Was hoping for some more input? How do you get additional responses? Wife is out all night 15 out of 25 days. Lies about everything. Has filed yet I still believe has hope to change and snap out of it! Have focused on ignoring her actions. It is very difficult. Had an off day the week she filed and boxed her stuff up. Did give it back but may have been the catalyst to her filing. That and her getting approved for a $2500 credit card with no job and no income! Insane. Have 90 days at least to break her addiction to the OM and her affair! Advise on what I can do or just stay on the detach ignore path??? Thank you
